People-reading. You've surely heard of it before, even if it is not a skill you're necessarily familiar with. Believe it or not, the ability to read people is relatively uncommon today. And it is not necessarily an ability you can develop over time- but there are techniques you can use to make yourself more aware of the people you should steer clear of. The ability to read people is by no means an exact science, nor is it fool-proof.
Normally when you meet someone for the first time, you greet them, shake their hand, and go on with the rest of your day. But when I meet someone, my brain instantly begins analyzing their behaviors. The words they choose to describe themselves or their situation, their level of eye contact, the way they dress, their posture- and all these factors ultimately determine whether I would be interested in interacting with this person again. Sometimes, after spending an hour or two with someone, I may be able to determine what factors in nature and nurture have molded them into who they are today.
As someone who can read people relatively well, I can tell you that it is both a blessing and a curse. If you're not skilled in this regard, you may wonder how this ability could be a curse. Here are the 4 disadvantages of being a people-reader:
1. You’re a bit more precautious with people than need be.
As a people-reader, it is in your nature to make judgments on people based on your first few impressions of them. And oftentimes, your suspicions of this said person will be correct. Sometimes, even people-readers are stumped. Whether you are having an off day, or the person makes a bad first impression, people-readers may be too quick to judge a book by its first chapter. Because of your innate ability to read people, you may miss out on a few diamonds in the rough, so don't close the door on people who have the potential to change your life.
2. You’re a little too wary of people’s negative traits.
Being a people-reader, you are better able to see both the good and bad in people, which can be a good thing. On the other hand, it seemingly makes you overly-critical. In this sense, you may hone in on a person's negative traits based on your preferences in people, or better yet your 'type' of human, making your outlook on this person a bit skewed. This is a disadvantage in the sense that it makes a people-reader less objective to the experiences people have. Just because they're not necessarily YOUR kind of people, does not make them any less of a valuable contribution to society.
3. You can smell bullshit from miles away- and have a very low tolerance for it.
​This is self-explanatory, but people-readers can very quickly tell when someone is being disingenuous. For the most part, this is a very positive characteristic to have. The disadvantage of being able to call people on their bullshit is the fact that you probably come off as a very harsh and impatient person at times. Because you are so able to tell when someone is fucking with you and those around you, it makes it very hard for you to be sympathetic to those more naive than you. In this case, it is important to step back, be kind, and un-assume the responsibility of making that other person aware of the bullshit being bestowed upon them. Let them learn a lesson, even if it is hard to watch.
4. You are aware that sociopaths are way more common than other people realize.
Now this disadvantage is probably the most disadvantageous of all. For those who don't know, a sociopath is "a person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience." Sociopaths are apathetic, callous, manipulative, and egotistical in nature. Empathy is the most uniquely human trait, and the lack thereof is what makes sociopaths dangerous. As a people-reader, you are very keen on these specific traits and pick up on them more quickly. The disadvantage of this is that people-readers are aware of how frequently we encounter sociopaths, yet there is nothing to be done about it, which is a scary thought in and of itself.
As a people-reader, you may think that you're also a people expert, which is simply not the case. It is certainly easiest to go with your gut, but it is not always the most interesting or even rewarding route. Moral of the story is that even people-readers must learn to be objective and sometimes give people the benefit of the doubt.
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