1. This petition we created for Harambe.
HE DIED FOR OUR SINS, OKAY? OKAY.
2. Not to mention this candlelight vigil for Harambe.
RIP my fallen friend. May you have all the children to throw around in heaven.
3. Oski.
Oski the Bear is our school mascot who likes to stare into the fiery depths of your soul. Funny story: once, when I was walking with my friend/roommate in the night, I saw a set of dark eyes and a nose bigger than my fear of the dark charging at me. So, I did what anyone would do if they saw Oski at night: I screamed. Humiliating myself and insulting Oski, I patched things up with him, and I even gave him a hug because I felt so guilty. That’s how creepy he is.
4. Chancellor Dirks.
Introducing Nicholas Dirks, our university’s chancellor. You may have heard on American news sources that he resigned after misusing public funds and mishandling sexual assault cases. And, now, all of us giggle the second we hear his name.
5. The tradition of the seals.
Because everyone knows that if you step on the seals throughout the campus, you won’t get a 4.0 GPA, and you’ll get pregnant and you’ll die. As well as all the other places throughout campus that will also get you pregnant.
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