As a high school freshman, when I heard the first mention of the then far-fetched idea of “college,” what I imagined was quite the opposite of what I have experienced as a college student in the past month and a half. In my mind, I saw a group of tall grown-ups who were basically adults that still knew how to have fun. They made lifelong friends and took difficult math classes where the formulas covered the entire blackboard, like in an episode of Tom & Jerry. The thought of how they got there and how they navigated through the awkward stage of not having anyone they know or the option of not living on campus and not having the “ideal” college experience didn’t even cross my mind. Yet here is exactly where I find myself today, as a college freshman, who would not have believed anyone that said she would miss high school just six months prior.

Just as a disclaimer, I know it’s only been six-ish weeks since my first official day at George Mason University, and that it’s not anywhere near enough time to judge how the next four years will play out, but I know I’m not the only one who has been feeling lonely, and frankly, disappointed, in the past few weeks. No one prepares you for the feeling of being alienated from everyone else, in classes, clubs, and halls, I would imagine. I also think it’s even worse for off-campus students to make meaningful connections, because it seems like all off-campus students want to do is show up to class and leave, understandably. However, if you’re a people person like me, who needs to make friends and have someone to talk to in line at Panera or someone to study with so they’re not just left to their procrastinated essays and themselves, then you will know how heartbreaking it is to try to form connections and fail. Again, and again, and again.

In high school, making friends was as easy as complimenting a random girl in your English class on her shoes, thus having something to talk about and starting a acquaintanceship. That has not been the case for me lately, and to be honest, I don’t know any other way to meet people. I’ve heard the advice to “join clubs and go to meetings” advice a million times by now, but it’s not in my nature to show up alone to a meeting of a random group of people and just integrate myself into their conversation like that. If anyone has the guts to do that, then kudos to them, and I would love to grab coffee with them some time so they can tell me their technique. But until I meet that friendship guru, I’m stuck in a rut. Do I continue to try (and presumably fail) to meet people, or do I join the off-campus crew and hang out with my parents for another four years instead?

The answer is unclear for now, but what I know for sure is that I have waited all through high school to be able to actually go out with my friends on Friday nights and do something besides watch Arabic soap operas with my mom and fail at Pinterest DIYs. I'm going to continue to push myself outside of my comfort zone and talk to people, until I find one or two that might be having the same issue as me, and then we can spend our weekends making failed DIYs together.