Growing up with an older brother creates a very imbalanced environment. As kids, you could have days where the both of you are partners-in-crime. Meanwhile, the other days could be a whole new world war. You fight, cry, scream, and torment one another, but there will never come a day that you don’t make up and say, “I love you.” Eventually, as you mature more and more, you come to an understanding for each other and you stop fighting/arguing as much.

When I started my senior year of high school, those were the days where my brother and I began to argue less and became closer than ever. He was there for me during the days of bullies at school, my first heartbreak, and my fears about college and my fast approaching future. Anytime I was complaining about my “oh-so-hard life,” he would bring me back down to reality and show me the silver linings to the situation, or he would just crack a very dirty joke to make me laugh. There is never a day that I don’t feel support and love from him.

So almost three years ago was the day that it was my turn to show him the same love and support, it was the night he told me and my family that he was going to join the Army. We were all extremely shocked and silent during his speech. However, we all smiled and said that we would support him no matter what. Five months later, we watched him walk away on to the bus for his Basic Training; that was really difficult, and it was a silent car ride home.

Don’t get me wrong, we were very proud of him that he wanted to serve our country, but all we could think of was the upcoming difficulties that we were all about to face. So to warn you lucky readers of this article, I’m going to go ahead and warn you of some of the difficult experiences that I have faced and still am facing today.

1. Communication sucked.

When you have a loved one in the military, you do a lot of waiting around to hear from them. Communication during their trainings or deployment can either be through letters, phone calls, or (if you’re lucky) Skype. Depending upon which training the recruit is going through, is what kind of communication you will get.

2. Their schedules.

This is actually a major one. When your loved one graduates from all of the training that they have to endure, they then go into their military career. During the months of them working, their schedule will never be the same. My brother experienced working all day, then randomly, he will be assigned to work the night shift. Based on when their shift is over and when they finally get some food and sleep is when you will hear from them. This is why texting is always one of the greatest inventions, because they are able to communicate with you as efficiently as they can.

3. Military lingo.

Now, this is also a major thing to remember. When my brother graduated Basic Training, he also brought with him a lot of acronyms and military jargon. So my family and I would stare blankly until he would clarify what the heck he was talking about. I highly recommend you buy a book that lists the military lingoes; otherwise you will be completely lost for the entire duration of your conversation.

4. Time differences if he's in another part of the world.

Enough said.

5. Getting leave time.

This is one of the most frustrating parts of having a brother in the military. This can change at any moment. We have had a few experiences of my brother to potentially be granted leave so he could come home and visit; however, his superiors would change their minds and we would have to postpone seeing him. One of the times that this happened was last Christmas; we usually go up north to visit family for the holiday. When my brother called and said that his leave was denied, we decided that we missed him too much to not see him. So we just took a trip to him instead (15-hour car rides are difficult; bring good music or Dramamine to knock you out).

6. Having to hear about a bad day.

Typically, when someone has an off day, they go home, crawl under their blanket with junk food, and watch Netflix. However, when you get a phone call and it is filled with your military loved one venting about how difficult of a time they are having, you have absolutely no idea what to say. The things that military individuals face are so completely different than what civilians do. So you try to reassure them or give advice on how you think it is the best way to handle it, but you think to yourself that you have no idea what you’re talking about. Ultimately all you can do is try to come up with any silver linings that you can, tell them that you love them, and that everything will be OK. There isn’t much you can do, but having them talk to you about it and you try to crack a joke to cheer them up can really work wonders for them.

Although there are more difficulties that people face when it comes to having their loved ones join the military, you cannot help but be so proud of them. They are accomplishing so many amazing goals and obstacles that you have this rare opportunity to watch them grow in to a whole new person. I know I feel that way whenever I see or speak to my brother. There may be obstacles that you and your loved one faces, but nothing compares to the happiness you have when you see them achieve so much.