Some children go through their entire childhood being kind and obedient and stay that way through adulthood. Some children are perfectly behaved and then become rebellious as they get older. Everyone is different, but are kids that are deliberately disobedient necessarily going to be that way their whole lives, or is it just a phase? Basically, should parents let this behavior slide because it will eventually go away, or should they nip it in the bud?
I'm not a parent myself, which I think is important to say before writing about this topic. I realize that when one becomes a parent, a lot of their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors change as a result of actually parenting, so that hasn't happened to me. I only know what I've seen and talked about with other parents and their children, and with that, here's what I think: Being disrespectful, disobedient, or anything of the sort, is not a phase, nor should it be used as an excuse.
First, not every child goes through this "phase". Therefore, it can't actually be necessary in a child's development since they develop regardless of their behavior, so it really can't be categorized as a phase. Next, sometimes, many times, it doesn't go away. A kid who acts out doesn't really ever completely outgrow it, and if they do, it's not for a while, way longer than a "phase" should last. Also, it doesn't happen at the same age for all children. Of course, nothing happens at the same exact age for every single child, but acting out can happen with little kids, preteens, or teens. There isn't any real set age.
With all of that said, I will never understand how all parents don't deal with this "phase" as soon as it arises. I hate when people call it a phase because I feel like it's a way to explain the child's bad behavior without any cause for it and as if it is inevitable and nothing can be done about it. A child learns everything from the day they are born by seeing, repeating, and then waiting for a reaction from an adult or someone they trust as to whether or not they are doing the right thing, right? If a child sees a parent cooking on the stove when they are hungry, they would do the same until a parent sees them and tells them that they can't use the stove because they are too young. Then the child doesn't do it again. If they do, the parent will continue to stop them until they don't do it anymore.
I suppose I can never really know until I'm a parent myself, so all I'm really doing here is begging the parents that come with their children into my job or around me to discount their bad behavior as a "phase". It's one thing for parents to allow the behavior in their homes, but when it is in public and affects other people, it's only fair to at least try to reduce the behavior.
