Ask my friends what I’m scared of, and they will (hopefully) say spiders/ bugs or zombies. One thing they probably don’t know is that I’m afraid of something much more realistic than zombies (sometimes)— relationships. I, like I’m sure many of you, have been a part of a lot of “almost relationships.” An almost relationship is exactly what it sounds like: a friendship that could turn into a relationship but doesn’t. For a while, I started to believe that maybe it was because of my CP (see my first article). Because of this, I decided I would join a dating app. I would like to be the first one to say what’s on your mind. Dating apps? Really? Well, as much as we all hate to admit it, gone are the days where people meet the love of their lives in a coffee shop. This is probably because we are too busy or just too lazy and don’t like to go out much. So, we do the next best thing. Download an app and swipe left or right, and pray that we didn’t just match with a serial killer.

I’m supposedly at the age where you are supposed to have your life figured out. Believe me, I don’t. I have a major in school, and I am working towards it. But other than that, I honestly have no Idea. Meanwhile, everyone around me is engaged or is in a serious relationship. And it’s great, I’m totally happy for all of them. Actually, a couple of them met on a dating app, so I figured why not? To try and help you all understand my thought process, here is a list of all the things I thought when I download a dating app:

-This will be great!

-Oh no! I should not have done this. What if he is a stalker and he comes to kill me. I can’t run. I’ll be the subject of a “Criminal Minds” episode.

-Okay, I can do this. Crud! Which way do you swipe? My hand is cramping. Ugh.

- I need to figure out how to delete this just in case.

-Ugh. I have to pick out pretty pictures of myself standing up, but I have to pick ones that have more than just me in them so it looks like I talk to more than five people.

-I have to hide the Cerebral Palsy.

The last bullet, for me, is an important one. It is important to be honest, but it’s also important to maintain a level of self-confidence. I’m human, even if I am built a little differently. Trust me, years of romantic comedies have prepared me for this. Yes, I realize that it is a dating app. But, I think that there is an opportunity here. Let me paint you a picture of my first experience. The first time I downloaded this app, I deleted it multiple times. I was scared because I didn’t know anything about it. I swiped left until the cows came home, until I matched with someone whom I was really interested in. He had a funny bio and was interested in the same football team as I was. The conversation was awesome, and he was fun to talk to. Then it got interesting. It turns out that he was the same major as I was, which was nice because he understood the struggle. Then, as we had started talking more and more, we decided to exchange social media stuff and then to Skype. This plan was insane because it just was. I even had gone so far as to have one of my best friends call me and tell me that her frog died and I had to come help her (she doesn’t have a frog). When we Skyped, it was nice, but it was all so weird to me. So, I had my friend call to tell me that her frog had just died and I had to come and help her. I told him that I had to go and that I would contact him later (I didn’t). I know, this sounds mean but hear me out. When I told him about the whole CP thing, he backed out. So, I got frustrated and I deleted the app. The moral of the story is, it’s always best to be honest about things, even if you are scared. Because, if you are, eventually you’ll find the right guy.