The summer before going into my freshman year, I re-watched all five seasons of A Different World. Yes, I am fully aware that there are six seasons however, I just really could never get into season one.
No shade. I promise.
I believe binge watching "A Different World" is some sort of a tradition among HBCU students. Especially students attending institutions such as Spelman College and Howard University. As a student going into Spelman College, it was definitely sort of viewed as sort of a pre-ritual. As people picked out the characters they most related to all the time. Some claimed Whitley Gilbert, the sassy southern belle. Others claimed Kim Reese, the well put together braniac. Lastly, some were Freddie Brooks, the wild at heart, silly, and youthful one of the group.
Me? Well I think I'm a mix of Kim Reese and Lena James but that's besides the point.
As I witnessed my classmates pick the woman they most related to, I couldn't help but analyze all the characters in the show. As I was analyzing, I couldn't help but realize that each character really had such a relatable narrative to them, one that wasn't so blatant. Some people won't recognize the things I saw them deal with and some will. However, these stories were very realistic and actually played out into my freshman year.
Freddie: Identity and Growth
Once you get past the push of the carefree black girl narrative people continuously push onto and label Freddie as, you come across a more complex individual. I've always seen Freddie as being someone who was always, in all ways, all over the place. Being all over the place isn't exactly a bad thing, because in some ways she was still very focused. In other ways, her all over the placeness made her into the outspoken character I in some ways admired. However behind the big curly hair, scatter brain, and wild funky clothes I saw someone who was searching for herself and her purpose. I saw someone who struggled with her identity. She made a lot of mistakes. Like I mean A LOT. However with that minor identity crisis and countless reckless decisions she dealt with for multiple seasons, I think in season six she came full circle.
In my opinion, Freddie's character was a symbol for growth. You may not agree, but despite her shortcomings, in season six she became more centered in her emotions. She began to show maturity. In college, you'll meet a lot of people like Freddie, and you might even be her yourself. However, its important to remember that life, especially college, is a nonstop learning process. You don't always try to blatantly do things that will hurt people but sometimes it just happens. Learn from it, and do everything in your power to make it right. Do everything in your power to become a better person. When you know better you do better.
Dwayne and Whitley: Communication
Communication was such a major issue between them. Dwayne and Whitley played way too many games with each other and gave each other the run around for multiple seasons. Whitley ignored Dwayne all summer, and had the nerve to be upset when he came back with another woman. During their engagement, Dwayne went on a date with the other woman and didn't not only tell Whitley about the affair but didn't communicate with her about the cold feet he was experiencing. He talked to everyone else except for the person who needed to hear it most. It's important to realize that many conversations are only A and B conversations. Don't get caught up.
Not only will you need to learn how to communicate in romantic relationships but you'll need to learn how to effectively communicate in relationships with friends, peers, professors, deans, and into the work world. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Never walk away from a conversation without clarity. How you communicate is important too. Be careful of how you speak to people. Your tone can get you an opportunity or have it easily taken away. Be aware of how your words and actions may affect other people. Intent does not take away from impact.
Ron: Finding Purpose
You've got to kiss a few Ron's to hopefully one day meet your Byron...um...I mean Dwayne. Despite the clown that Ron was, I couldn't help but notice that for many seasons, he lacked purpose. Just like Freddie, he was all over the place. From one business venture to the next. Many may have seen him as ambitious but I just think he lacked a sense of purpose. That's something your parents or friends can't lead you too. It's something you have to seek for yourself. I did not struggle with purpose during my freshman year but I witnessed many people who did. Focus is not always the key to finding out who you are and what you have to contribute to the world but it is a start.
Focus.
Kim: Balance
The character of my freshman year was Kim. I have never related to anyone more. Just as Kim did, for a while I struggled with balance. With the many opportunities coming my way, I struggled with creating a schedule for myself that allowed me the proper room to rest. As a first year student, I took on way too much and that in turn was not good for my mental health. Thankfully I have an amazing family and foundation that were there to support me. However not everyone has that or is comfortable with seeking help. Put yourself first and learn how to say no. It's not always as easy as that but it is a start. It's still a learning process and just like Kim I learned my lesson the hard way. However, just like Kim I still came out on top. Watching Kim I saw first hand what it meant to persevere. Things may not always go the right way and you'll deal with various distractions in your personal life. However, she was never the victim and always the victor. I admire that quality in her.
Jaleesa: Circumstance
Jaleesa was in her mid-twenties when she started her undergraduate studies at Hillman College. That's an age where most are finishing up that degree. Jaleesa has been through a lot, a failed marriage and a miscarriage that followed her high school career, she decided to take matters into her own hands and pursue higher education. Jaleesa Vincent is a prime example of changing your narrative. So many unforeseen circumstances will come your way. It definitely came mine, however victory is yours if you want it. She graduated with a poppin' job and found happiness with herself, and then with Colonel Taylor. She did that. She even encouraged her sister to go back to school as well and take her power back into her own hands. Marianne WIlliamson once stated "And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same." Jaleesa's story is a prime example of this quote. Allow your conquest to be a light for others who may not believe that they can win whatever they are facing. Somebody is always watching.
Dorian: Faith
Faith is no easy task to maintain in college but Dorian Haywood didn't allow that to stop him in his relationship with God. College is something new and with new things comes other new things in tow. Distractions are very real. However what I loved about Dorian's character is that he didn't allow his values to be diminished for what he believed to be temporary satisfaction. It's important to hold on the values that you strongly believed and not to allow the pressure and ways of the world to deter you from that. If you are a believer, keep God at the center. Not only because you need him but because God needs you to carry out His purpose for your life.
Kim and Whitley, Gina and Lena: Sisterhood
These friendships weren't always perfect but what friendship is? These two pairs were never afraid to keep it real with each other and they always in all ways had each others backs. In a lot of ways, both helped the other to grow. In college, we watched as Kim challenged Whitley to grow and become a better version of herself. She didn't allow Whitley to possess bad qualities at the expense of being comfortable. That's true friendship. When you force your friend to stand in their truth and when you love them unconditionally despite of it.
Have friends like Lena who want your best interest at heart. When she found out that Gina was in an abusive relationship she knew that keeping silent could be detrimental. Despite how Gina may have felt about her actions in telling Whitley, she loved her so much that she didn't care how Gina would treat her afterwards. She just wanted Gina safe. There were numerous moments of sisterhood shown between the characters throughout the series. To my incoming Spelman Sisters, never let anything come between sisterhood. You will fuss, and you will fight however despite how you may feel about someone, never turn your back on her. One day you'll find a maid of honor to be in your wedding just as Kim was for Whitley. Remember, to have a sister, you must be a sister. Kindness is timeless and being genuine is a quality you must always remember to possess.
So remember, you'll meet a lot of Ron's before you find your Dwayne, find sisters like Lena, Gina, Whitley, and Kim, make mistakes and find yourself like Freddie, learn how to balance like Kim, be faced with circumstance like Jaleesa, have your faith tested like Dorian, struggle with communication like Dwayne and Whitley, and seek purpose like Ron. Remember that perfection does not exist so do don't try and obtain it. Your victories, as well as your shortcomings are all apart of your story, do not be ashamed of them. Never be afraid to admit your mistakes as that shows maturity and want for change. Remember to keep in touch and never forget your foundation (your family, your mentors, your teachers, etc.) Always perform to the best of your abilities. Speak up for whats right and push yourself out of your comfort daily and above all? Always choose love.
You can have whatever you are willing to work for. Peace and Blessings to you and your collegite career.
