Every so often, as I’m changing the bed sheets or scrambling eggs in the kitchen, I remember how lucky I am to have what I have—a man who loves me and a place to call home—however temporary it may be. I look back to times that seemed to drag along, through pain that I thought would never end. Although dozens of months have passed, it seems like only yesterday that longing and frustration loomed like a dark cloud over my head, but the outcome of such reflection is always a greater appreciation for the part he has played in my happiness and a thrilling excitement at what our future will hold.
It’s a different kind of homesick...
...for I miss the home that we don’t yet have. I now have everything that I wanted and it will always be enough; I’m not just looking for the next best thing. However, I’m ready to move forward, and for the first time we can move together.
This kind of homesick is the urge to brainstorm floor plans, color schemes and other design features.
This kind of homesick is the dream to take on the world with my one and only, while reminding myself to appreciate what I have now.
This kind of homesick is the acceptance of taking things one day at a time while longing for fulfillment in the future.
We have a cluttered dining room table and eat at the couch. I’ve taken over the small closet that’s filled with clothing of which I wear hardly half. Our dishes don’t match, and we only have three forks. Our neighbors are door-slammers and live in their own separate worlds.
What makes it perfect is that we’re together. What makes it an adventure are the imperfections that we can seek to improve.
I’m craving that next step in our life, and emotionally, I’m ready for it. I want everything that our own house could offer. I want a floor plan that gives us room to grow and the finishing touches that makes our hearts glow "this is ours."
So dear, I’d love to have a beautiful wooden dining table, always set for the next meal with dishes that match and forks made out of a finer material than plastic. Walk-in closets would be a dream, one for each of us, so that you no longer have to give up your space for me. It would be nice to get to know the couple next door so you men can grill and we women can trade casserole recipes. Built-in shelving, a linen closet well stocked with matching towels, our favorite artwork on the walls...If I wasn’t so busy loving you back I could go on forever. But after all this, only one thing matters.
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