I am a firm believer in the principle that every person has equal dignity even if they don’t have equal privileges. Most Christians would agree with this statement, saying that all humans are image bearers of God. Most American citizens would agree with this statement, too, saying that the Constitution says that all men are created equal. Still, beliefs and actions can be two very different things. What does it mean to respect a person’s dignity?
To answer this question, we must look at the differences between compassion and pity. Compassion is recognizing other people’s lack of privilege and being willing to help another person when needed. It is a willingness to help another person when needed because you see the value in them, the value in that person’s ability to make their own impact on the world. Compassion is seeing the potential in another person, even when that other person does not see it themselves. Or, that person may have the confidence to see their own potential, and may simply ask for your help in reaching their goals. Or, compassion may even look like being okay if a person declines your offer to help. Compassion empowers others.
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On the other hand, pity steals the power from others. It does not honor a person’s dignity. Instead, pity comes from a place of pride and selfishness. In a way, people are using the people they are pitying to feel better about themselves and to ease their consciences. Pity is insisting on helping someone when they kindly ask you to go away. Pity is thinking of yourself as another person’s hero. Pity is never really about the person you are helping, and therefore is not loving at all.
As a person with a disability, I am the member of only one group who has to endure lifelong pity from others. People in poverty are another group that endures pity. A popular book at my school against pitying those in poverty is called “When Helping Hurts” by Steve Corbett and Brian Fikkert. This book challenges the way Christians look at people in poverty, and affirms the value of each human being as image bearers of God with their own gifts. It also points to the pridefulness of Christians who see themselves as heroes to the poor. A practical example of this would be having a ministry that offers job training to the poor rather than just giving handouts or aid. Handouts or aid may make the poor feel more needy and ashamed, whereas job training allows them to learn how to use their God-given gifts to provide for themselves.
As weird as it may sound, I believe the concepts of “When Helping Hurts” apply to people with disabilities as well. I think it’s easy for Christians to look at people with disabilities with a sense of pride and pity, or to want to be their hero. In reality, people with disabilities have God-given gifts just like those in poverty and everyone else. When given the right tools instead of always being given aid, people with disabilities can become equipped to live the lives God has caused them to live.
Last but not least, I believe it is biblical to show compassion instead of pity to those in need. One example of this is Matthew 6:1-4 which says to do goods in secret for only God to see. This protects you from helping others to look like a good person. In Matthew 23:24-28, Jesus condemns Pharisees who do good outward actions, but selfish on the inside. Philippians 2:3-4(ESV) says “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” A person who cares about the interests of others would want to do what actually helps others rather than doing good deeds to make themselves feel good. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3(ESV) says “ If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” Anything done for those in need that is not done in love is not worth anything.
