Marriage is a concept that very few people have mastered and perfected. It's a fine balance between trust, communication and compromise. With one of these out of whack and not being equally as important as the other, the relationship can fall to shambles in a matter of one look. Regardless of the statistics or the rumors there are of marriage, it's one thing that almost all people have in common. People want to get married. They want to have one person for the rest of their life, and they want this love that is so great it seems all-consuming.

Ever since I was a little girl I expected to get married young. I grew up where finding the love of your life in high school and getting married at 18 was normal. I've always wanted a big wedding and to have all of my family and friends with me, have a beautiful dress from Kleinfeld in New York and be the happiest person alive. All at 18.

This was the culture I lived in though, so it wasn't uncommon to have these thoughts and dreams. Although, as I entered high school, and as I was more and more single the closer I got to 18, the more I realized that I wasn't going to be achieving this far-fetched dream of mine. I wasn't going to be married by 19 and be preparing for my second child by the time I'm 21. It just wasn't going to happen.

At first I was actually heartbroken. I was disappointed in myself for not finding the one. I was upset that I had gone against going to BYUI-Do to find this magical love everyone spoke about. I thought I had screwed myself out of a marriage that would've made me happy because I didn't want to go to a school based mostly on a religion I was unsure about.

Then I started to make friends and I thought "Ya know what? I'm gonna be okay. I don't need marriage to be happy." So I had moved past the marriage at a young age stage. I was still sad. I still hadn't been in a relationship, I still didn't feel comfortable with myself and I was still sad I was essentially alone. My friends would always say "When you stop looking the right person will come along." Or "You're just too mature for the guys in college right now. Your time will come." And those words were reassuring for the first few days after they said it. But eventually that was the go-to saying and my mind would jump back to the disappointment I felt about not being married or in love with someone I thought I could marry.

So throughout college I was basically looking for anything close to a relationship, and running with it. 10 times out of, well, 10 it didn't work out. In fact, it was the very opposite of working. It would normally end with me trusting them, putting my heart into it, and then getting hurt. I've been hurt more times then I can count, and as much as it hurts to admit, I didn't learn from them. I continued to put myself in the same positions to get hurt all over again.

Moving to Orlando was a huge decision for me, and I knew part of the reason I moved was because I needed a fresh start. I needed a new place to live and a new place to recreate myself. I wanted to go into it with the mindset of 'Girls rule, boys drool' and that's exactly how it started. I made a bunch of girl friends, we went out, hung out all the time and had the time of our lives. I hardly thought about relationships or the failure that was my love life. Things were starting to look up.

Of course there were flings and short lived confusing relationships, but none of it reminded me of what I had thought I wanted until I had my heart broken. Now, I wasn't in love or anything, but I had fallen for the guy, and I had thought I had been the only one and things were truly starting to change. Long story short, things ended messily and I was reminded of something. Something vital and important that every girl needs to try to remember.

He may seem like the world. He may look like a God and treat you like a princess. And it's more likely then not going to be genuine. If you don't love yourself, though, it's not going to work. And that's the harsh reality of it all. Us girls live in a society where skinny is beautiful and curvy is sexy and one person will say this is good while another says it's bad. We live with distorted body images and where if you don't have the 'ideal' body then your worthless. It's all so so wrong though. You're beautiful just the way you are. You don't need a boy to tell you otherwise, and being married will never define you.

Yes, he is perfect. Yes, he is the love of your life and the father of your children, and you are his wife. But by no means does that mean you live a perfect life and nothing can go wrong. Life hits you hard sometimes. And you just have to pick yourself up, gather the pieces, and find a way to put them all back together. It took me 21 years to realize this, but once I did, I had an epiphany and the world was practically lifted off my shoulders.

I may be sad and hurting and confused, but I know that none of that will change until I learn to love myself. There's no guy out there that can make me do that. He may give words of encouragement and he may give words that instill doubt. But as I have continued to remind myself time and time again, no boy will define me. And until now, I didn't believe that. It took pain to figure it out, but thank God I have.

So love him, give him your whole heart, wear your feelings and don't be embarrassed by them. You deserve to be happy, and if he makes you happy then take that and run with it. Remember, though, that only you can make you love yourself. And if you ever think "Maybe if I marry him things will be better" then stop. Take a step back and think about it. Truly take time for yourself and think about it. Because, although some marry young and it works out perfectly and it's the picture perfect fairytale, those who rush into it don't get the same luxury. It's okay to not find love young and it's okay to wait. Because if there's even the slightest doubt in your mind, about yourself or about your relationship, then that will never go away and you won't be loving fully and completely.

Besides, loving yourself is way too fun not to do it.