That's right. I didn't make Dean's list. Many students don't achieve this in college, but as someone who has always been a little obsessed with grades, I was kind of hoping I would. I put in so much effort to make the list, but I didn't. So there you have it, I didn't make the cut.

However, this doesn't make me any less of a person or a student. I'm still someone who puts all their effort into everything they do, and I try my best. It sucks knowing my best didn't quite meet the expectations of "high academic standing", but if you knew how close I was to making Dean's list, I think I deserve a little recognition. As do many other students like myself.

Some people have straight up told me I'm not trying hard enough or I don't have what it takes to make Dean's list. They say I'm not worthy, and I have even been told that I'm not someone who professors should put their time into because I'm not considered to be "competition". First of all, I was 0.07 away from making Dean's list at the end of my freshman year. Does that automatically make me not worthy? Does that suddenly mean I'm not trying hard enough? No. No, it does not. Also, it's not a competition. College is a place to better yourself and learn. Not to try to be better than everyone else.

It still sucks and sometimes I am guilty of comparing myself to others, don't get me wrong. I'm surrounded by a group of people who are getting straight 4.0s and making the list with ease. It feels as if they're doing something I'm not, and it gets frustrating. I constantly ask myself why I can't do better and why I seem to be the weakest link in my friend group. I wonder what I need to do just to be recognized for all the effort I make. As someone who didn't make Dean's list, I feel as if I am suddenly placed into this group of people that I don't deserve to be grouped into. I'm still doing extremely well. However, it doesn't feel like it.

So, no, I didn't make Dean's list. BUT, that doesn't mean you can assume I'm not a strong student, or that I'm not worthy. It doesn't mean I'm not trying, and it doesn't mean I'm not intelligent. I am still doing perfectly fine, and I deserve to feel that way. I will admit, the world does tend to only recognize those who excel. That being said, the people who still do incredibly well but don't quite make it still deserve to be recognized and treated equally, too.