Donald Trump’s presidential election caused an intense wave of emotions for people worldwide. In the months immediately following the election, millions of Americans jumped into action. The Women’s March on Washington was one such action. Arguably the most important event of contemporary social action, the Women’s March became a world-wide movement with sister marches all over the globe.

And yet, despite being a proud feminist, despite living a mere 7 miles from the March’s starting point, I chose not to attend. When people have asked me why, I usually make up some excuse like “Oh, well the metro was packed and I couldn’t get there.” This generally satisfies whomever is asking. But that’s not the whole truth.

I have generalized anxiety. The thought of traveling alone from my house in Northwest, DC (incidentally just a few blocks from where Mike Pence temporarily lived before the inauguration) on a packed metro train to Capitol Hill was just the start of my worries. There were going to be so many people. What if I couldn’t find the group I was meeting? What if I was rejected for being a man? What if the march became violent? What if we were the target of an attack?

My head was overflowing with questions. As the little lights on the TV cable box flicked to display 10:12, my anxiety grew and true panic started to take over. I was supposed to be downtown before the start of the rally at 10 o’clock. By 11:00am that panic had consumed me. I was not in a state to join the march. But the thought of not going merely added to my anxiety. My mom, who has seen me in such a state many a time, placed her hand on my arm soothingly. She told me it was okay to not go. “You can support the idea in other ways,” she advised me. “Like writing, you like to write.”

It’s taken me a while to actually compose something, but I’ve also had time to think about it all. And finally, I have let go of the guilt I harbored for not attending the march.

So, here is how I explained to myself that I am not, in fact, a horrible feminist.

I started thinking about the March and what it represents. Initially, I thought it was simply about women’s rights. But then I asked myself, what are women’s rights and what is feminism? That’s quite a loaded question. Is feminism about women versus men? What about everyone who is not a woman or a man? What about women who don’t have vaginas and men who do and those with some combination of both? So maybe feminism means fighting any form of gendered oppression. Except, oppression doesn’t stem only from cis-misogyny. The oppression experienced by my cis white mother is very different from my own experience being a trans man of color. And my experience is very different from a trans woman of color living with a disability. Then bring in socioeconomics, sexual orientation, nationality, citizenship status, you name it and we all feel such disparate forms of oppression. Feminism brings together people from all walks of life. However, there is one thing that participants of the Women’s March all hold in common: They were all empowered and able to march.

Empowerment drives any sort of movement. Marching, rallying, and protesting empowers many people. Wearing pussy hats empowers people, too*. For others, writing is empowering. Maybe empowerment is speaking in public, or conversing in private. Perhaps empowerment is creating a piece of art. Empowerment might be keeping quiet and reminding yourself to breathe, that you are worth it, that you have a place on this earth. Just as feminism brings together people with a myriad of lived experiences, feminism brings forth infinite forms of empowerment. Find ways to empower yourself. Find ways to bolster yourself. But always remember that your empowerment is not everyone’s empowerment. There is no “right” or “wrong” way to be empowered.

So, empowerment is key, as is active inclusion of all forms of empowerment. Now that we all are empowered, how do we support a movement? In many cases, empowerment occurs through outward and public support of a movement. For example, I empower myself through writing and communicating my thoughts with others. That action also supports the feminist movement and dialogue. Maybe you show your support by placing signs and rainbow flags outside your home, or by donating money to an organization you support, or by speaking at events.

But you can also show support with a small smile to someone as you pass them on the street. Tell your friends and family you care about them. Ask what you can do to support them. It might be making sure the ramp to a building is clear of snow for those who cannot use the stairs. It could be offering a hug to the student in the dining hall who sits alone crying silently. It might be as simple as saying “thank you” to the person canvassing for a cause you believe in.

A movement is not comprised of a single action, a single event, a single mindset. It is made up of everything public and everything you think no one notices. A successful movement welcomes and incorporates the empowerment and support of everyone who believes in that cause. So that’s why I don’t believe the people who say I’m not supportive of the Women’s March or feminism. My empowerment and my support is not the same as your empowerment and your support. But it is still there, and it is still valid.

*Pussy hats have been very controversial. Some people voiced their concern over pink, knit hats being too feminine and frilly. Others find the hats to be a unifying and empowering symbol. Meanwhile, it is important to remember that not all women have vaginas. People are not defined by their bodies. They are defined by their character. The hats are an important sign of resistance and unity, but they should not be the single most important symbol of this movement.