Growing up, all the teenage movies revolved around a very similar plot: boy meets girl, they fall in love, usually go through trouble, get back together, live happily ever after. Often, that scenario happened when one of them started college. So that was my mindset when I moved away for college. I thought that I just might find someone on this campus that boasts thousands of commuters, international students and campus residents. I don’t know why I thought that college would change anything — I went through middle and high school waiting for that someone and it either never stuck or just didn’t happen.
By the time I graduated high school, I thought that I had accepted that it just wasn’t meant to happen to me, at least not at that time. But starting college, especially away from my hometown and everyone I knew, I thought that I could finally be that fun, outgoing socialite ready to love ‘em and leave ‘em. Now here I am, three years later, graduated college and I still spend my Friday and Saturday nights watching movies in bed with my guinea pig, some wine and chocolate. And while I do sometimes wish I had someone to hang out and do things with, go out on the town with or even just to really talk to, I’m glad that I didn’t date during college.
1. I didn't have to deal with drama.
You know what I’m talking about. The fights, the jealousy, the back-and-forth, “They like me; they like me not.” Now, maybe that’s more of a high school thing, but either way, I didn’t have to worry about it. I didn’t have to worry about keeping anybody’s attention or worrying about somebody else’s opinion any more than usual.
2. I didn't have to split my attention between school and a relationship.
I could just put all my time and attention to my studies and making sure that I was keeping on top of my grades. My roommate became my best friend, so I always had someone to hang out with and go out if we needed a break. I attribute my three-year graduation with honors to her and her ability to keep me on track and cheer me up. I didn’t need a significant other for that, I had a best friend.
3. I was able to focus on myself.
Going to college marked the first time I had ever been on my own away from home. I was shy, scared and lost in life. I hated my major during freshman year, was failing classes, missing home and overall it was a low point in my life. I’m so grateful that I didn’t have to worry about trying to make someone else happy when I couldn’t even figure myself out. Once I switched my major in my second year, things did a 180. My classes were fantastic, I was happy and enjoying school, and I was able to focus on just making myself happy.
I know there’s the old cliche, “I’m trying to discover myself,” but it’s true. I didn’t know who I really was or what I really wanted, and I still don’t. I’m still finding myself and learning about what makes me happy and what I want from life. I have big plans for my future, and I currently don’t see a relationship being a part of those plans. That being said, I pride myself on keeping an open mind. So who knows? Maybe it’ll happen sooner than I think. I’m just glad I didn’t rush or pressure myself to find a relationship when I wasn’t ready for one. If you date during college, that’s cool. If you don’t date during college, that’s cool, too. Each person is different and each person wants something different. That’s what makes us unique. Things work out differently for everyone. You do you, and keep on keeping on — either solo or with that special someone.
