Earlier this week, I had a mini breakdown/existential crisis. No, I didn’t curl up into a ball and sob in the corner of my room. I can tell you that I was really compelled to do it when no one was at home, though.
This breakdown was really just my head messing with me for only a night. It was just as frustrating as a legitimate breakdown. For some reason, my brain thought it would be a good idea to remember everything that I was fearful of. To be quite honest, I’m afraid of a lot of things. I’m afraid of silly things, like making small talk, or messing up my order at a fast food restaurant.
But I’m also afraid of more reasonable things. I’m afraid of regretting things that I do in the past. I’m afraid of having no future opportunities for success. I’m afraid of not being good at anything. I’m afraid that I’ll never improve, and that I’ll just stay as immature and clueless as I am now. I’m afraid of failure and screwing up my entire life. I’m afraid of being a disappointment to everyone who cares for me.
You could say that I live my life entirely in fear. And maybe you’re right. Nowadays, I constantly think about what my future will be, and whether I will even have the capability to care for myself, let alone my family. I often envision myself homeless, broke and having nothing at all to offer. Admittedly, I also allow my fear of risks to take hold of me. It upsets me that I almost always pass up opportunities because I’m afraid of “breaking the boundaries” that are really a pathway to success. I constantly doubt my abilities because I am afraid of coming off as boastful and being unable to defend myself whenever I choose to do something.
Looking back at this, I often disappoint myself because I feel that I only lack ambition and the courage to be a risk taker. Otherwise, I would have at least some achievements that I am proud of. To a lot of people, success is like an equation that is really simple. If you have enough ambition, are willing to work hard, and know where to find success, then everything will fall into place. But the equation doesn’t include being afraid or contemplating whether something is the right thing to do. It also doesn’t include the varying advantages and disadvantages of people. In reality, it’s these things that can sometimes help push someone to success. A lot of people end up taking risks or work hard for something because they are also fearful that they will lose something like their homes, possessions, and more. It’s much more common than people realize. Everyone has been driven by fear at some points in their lives. Whether it is a dangerous situation like being mugged, or something less life threatening, like asking for a raise, fear always has a place when it comes to achieving success.
For the most part, nobody enjoys being afraid (except for people who voluntarily watch horror movies). But even in that case, those same people also don’t want to live their entire life in fear. The feeling of it is so overwhelming, even if it’s only being experienced for a split second. It’s ironic, though, that people are willing to experience fear in order to achieve success. Many do bold things such as quit jobs, move across the world, learn a new language, and blindly put trust into a situation where the outcome is unknown. It’s beautiful and very admirable to see people do things like this for the sake of success. But sometimes, people push this too far. And that’s when things get really scary. Doing things like working 80 hours a week, or going to work with a serious illness are the most serious risks that people take. It’s mind boggling to even think that some people will do things like this when they are aware it will go badly in the end.
In any case, fear is actually really important for survival. Often, it can save us from a more difficult situation, and even death itself. Of course, there’s a fine line between using fear as motivation and having it become your life. It could be the thing that pushes you to achieve more of your goals. But it can also destroy everything that you’ve ever worked for in an instant. People never seem to highlight the fact that being afraid can often be okay. Life consists of balances, which means that constant happiness is definitely not a guarantee. Everyone in the world, even the richest and most seemingly successful people, has at least one kind of worry circulating in their heads. Maybe it’s time that everyone should embrace fear as a key to success, and realize that there isn’t anything to be worried about.
