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Diary of A Professional Sad Girl: Severance

We have to end this.

Monae Brayboy

Nov 22, 2016

Notre Dame of Maryland University

Diary of A Professional Sad Girl: Severance

October 21, 2016

2:08 am

You've been sending me messages. They are beautiful messages. Whenever you text me at 1am and the vibrations disrupt my sleep, I know that it's you sending me your love. I know when you ask me if I'm alone, it's just because you want to call me and see my face. You call me pretty. You call me cute nicknames. You call me yours.

It's all very flattering. But it's just not mutual. You call me to make sure hat I'm happy, but you actually make me sad. Every time you send me those messages of affection, I get sad because I wish I liked you just as much. I wish I liked you as much as you like me. I wish your messages actually meant something to me.

I hate to be the one to tell you that you deserve better than me, but who else would be better to tell you than me? I want to save you the endless hours of crying yourself to sleep. I want to save you from venting about me to your friends. I want to save you from asking yourself why couldn't I love you. I want to save you from doubting yourself. I want to save you from wondering why no one wants just because I still haven't grown as deep as feelings for you.

This hurts me too.

You might not believe me when I say this but I am hurt too. I wish we connected, we would be perfect. I wish we shared something special. I wish I could see you the same way you see me. I wish I didn't have to wish for this. I wish I could change.

You think the world would better or worse if we could change people to how we want them to be? If we could change them to love us, and only us. Wouldn't that be a sight to see? I think that would be a chaotic world.

Believe it or not, I would love to love you.

You are beautiful. You have a beautiful personality. You have a beautiful smile. You have a beautiful sense of humor. You have beautiful ways of showing your affection for me. You radiate beauty onto others.

"If I'm beautiful in so many ways, then why don't you want me", she asked.

I simply replied, "That beauty isn't meant for me".

However, I wonder if I'm just being too nice? Even if I felt any type of resentment about your pressing emotions and actions, I wouldn't call you out on it. I wouldn't want to make you feel any worse. But, now that I think about it, sometimes you annoy me. I'm only annoyed because I feel low and empty for leading you on.

This isn't who I am, and you know it. This is why we have to end. I'm sorry.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Diary of A Professional Sad Girl: Severance

We have to end this.

Subscribe to our Newsletter

No one best represents the struggle like our favorite 90s squad.

1. When course schedules are released and you have a conflict between two required classes.

2. When there is only one section of a popular course.

3. Receiving the 18,000 emails reminding you to register ASAP.

4. When you need to see an advisor, but they are too busy/unresponsive.

5. Trying not to dress like a bum for your appointments with your advisors/department heads.

6. When you have a perfectly planned out schedule, and one class ruins it.

7. Carefully moving things around to accommodate a different class/section.

8. Waking up at 6:00 a.m. for your enrollment time.

9. Concocting a new schedule at your enrollment time after your original plan gets changed.

10. Getting into a class and filling the last available seat.

11. When all of your classes finally go through.

12. Realizing that you forgot a class that was a pre-requisite for everything else.

When your capability of "adulting" is put to the test

Nobody deserves to be living in poverty.

"Nobody living in one of the most influential nations in the world should be worried about making ends meet."

What is the current minimum wage at the federal level?

What are the benefits of raising the minimum wage?

What are the states that have set a $15/hour minimum wage?

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Because who understands your bitterness better than April?

1. When you have to provide an "interesting fact" for your first day ice-breaker.

2. When your professor is babbling on and on in his lecture.

3. When you edit your friend's paper and they get an A.

4. When it's 2 AM and you remember you have a test tomorrow.

5. When you finish taking the test and you're pretty sure you failed...

6. ...but then you get the test back and somehow passed.

7. When you've been up for 12 hours straight writing a paper.

8. And then you manage to stay awake in class the next day.

9. When you have to butter up your professor for an extra credit opportunity.

10. When you're assigned a group project.

11. And your group-mates are trying to chat about life instead of the assignment.

12. When it's your last class of the day and you're about to go home.

13. But then you remember rent is due tonight and the anger comes back.

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