Ask a diabetic how they've been doing, and they'll reply with numbers. Ask a diabetic what they've been doing, and they'll reply with dosages, medications, and treatment plans. Ask a diabetic how they do it, and they'll reply with perseverance, patience, support, and strength.
As a type one diabetic, my life is both drastically different and surprisingly similar to anyone else's life. It is different because I am manually doing the job of one of my vital organs; an organ that is supposed to secrete a hormone called insulin 24 hours a day, seven days a week in order to keep my blood sugar levels in a certain healthy range, thus keeping me alive. However, my immune system has ingeniously decided that insulin (the hormone that keeps me breathing) is evil and should be destroyed as soon as it is produced. Why, you ask? I wish we had an answer.
Despite my illness, my life is not that different from yours. I can eat whatever I like, I can climb Mt. Everest or binge on Orange Is The New Black, and I can even live as long as a healthy person can live. Hannah Giffin, a friend of mine who also has diabetes, said it perfectly: "I want people to know that I'm not a sick person, I'm not damaged. I just have to take a few extra steps throughout the day."
But don't get me wrong; diabetes is one of the most difficult diseases to manage because there is no definitive treatment plan. Can you imagine getting diagnosed with a disease that doctors kind of know how to treat, but not really? Or how about getting told that you will be the one figuring out your doses of medication, even though you have little to no experience in the medical field? Yeah, eventually we get the hang of it and it is second nature to us; but it doesn't change the fact that diabetes is treatable, but not controllable. I usually like to compare it to a never ending, broken rollercoaster. This rollercoaster has broken wheels, no brakes, and it constantly falls off the track, putting your life in danger. You have the means to put it back on the track when it falls, but no one has the technology to fix the wheels and add brakes to this machine. We have insulin to bring our blood sugar down, and we have glucose to bring it back up, but we lack the thing to prevent it from going off track in the first place.
As a child, the normal responsibilities of a diabetic get put on our parents. They test our blood sugars, give us shots, and put information into our insulin pumps, all to make sure we stay healthy until we understand that this is something we need to learn how to do ourselves. Parents of diabetics really don't get enough credit for all they do for us, especially since this disease puts a different kind of pain inside their hearts. If you asked our parents, they could tell you about how each night when they tucked us into bed, they would close our door and pray that we survived through the night. They would tell you about the sleepless nights and how they would wake up every two hours to check our blood sugar, or they would talk about the bump in the night that isn't a monster, but a seizing child who fell out of bed. They can tell you about how they triple checked the insulin dose and did everything the doctor told them to, but somehow still ended up with a high blood sugar. They can tell you about the crying when we didn't want to take our shots, or when we felt sick from a bad blood sugar and just had to wait it out, unable to eat or sleep "just in case." They can tell you about the weird looks other children gave us when we had to stop playing tag to manage our blood sugars, and about how we wanted oh so badly to just be a normal kid who didn't have to take shots eight times a day.
But after we're all grown up, our parents and caregivers can tell you about how strong we are; how we found a community of other diabetics to support us, how we choose to accept the fact that we will have this disease for the rest of our lives, and how we choose to put our health first so that we can live close to normal lives. We have been to the ER at ungodly hours and been told that we might not make it, but we pushed through. We have woken up at 3a.m. with a low blood sugar for the fifth night in a row and managed not to have a full-blown breakdown on the kitchen floor. We have fought with our own bodies that seemingly refuse to respond to our medications, and we have won. We have cried, we have prayed, and we have risen up to continue on with our day, despite everything going against us.
I took some time this past weekend to ask some of my close diabetic friends about what diabetes is to them, and I will not lie, I did not expect these kinds of answers. Let these beautiful and hopeful people inspire you as they have inspired me:
"It's a blessing… I feel like if I didn't have this disease I'd probably be reckless in general." –Gabe Marquez
"Altogether, diabetes is a reality check for me… I do not let it stop me from living my life, and I will always go the extra mile to live my life to the fullest because I know diabetes may shorten my time here on earth." –Julie Lindholm
"Diabetes to me is the biggest blessing that I have ever received in life. It has challenged me to become the best version of myself and has even destroyed me at times, but I never give up fighting. Diabetes has opened up so many doors and experiences for me. If I could re-do life without diabetes, I would never do it." -Allison Johnson
"To me, diabetes is an unexpected road on my journey in life. It has bumps and twists along the way that can feel lonely and never-ending at times. But the road also led me to some of the most amazing people, some incredible opportunities, and a new perspective on life. I want people to know that I'm not a sick person, I'm not damaged. I just have to take a few extra steps throughout the day." –Hannah Giffin
"It's always there. To quote a line from a poem I heard a while back, ‘One day it's like a firefly in the palm of a bear, the next, it's the bear.' That particular poem was about depression and sometimes having diabetes is depressing, but alike depression, it isn't the only thing defining you. Diabetes has been a lot of different things to me over the years. So today, I'll say it's like a scar, a part of me that I used to think was ugly and now I think is just a part of me and my life." –Cheyenne Smith
Diabetes has simultaneously been a source of pain, great sadness, and overwhelming joy. Type one diabetes is no walk in the park, and one of the toughest things to deal with is when people don't understand its seriousness or brush it off as something totally manageable; it's not. Whenever I'm feeling depressed because I have to take one more injection, have to figure out one more out-of-range blood sugar, or I hear another story about a young person's life being taken by diabetes, I have to think of my diabetes family and be grateful that at least we have each other." –Jeanine Santucci
If you would like to better understand the lives that diabetics and their families lead, or if you would like to send a thank you to someone who has always been there for you, here are some links that I have found helpful in my life:
What it's like to love a diabetic
Diabetes blogs for inspiration!
Wonderful news in the diabetes community
Find your diabetes community or find out how to help fundraise/support
