There are several things I despise in life: homework, seafood, going to work, people who don't like dogs, and most importantly, shopping. My sense of fashion is little to zero, and because of the cult I grew up in, I didn't start picking out my own clothes until I was about 14 or 15.

I also don't consider myself a skinny girl, nor a big girl. I'm a medium, but not a comfortable medium (girls, you know what I'm saying). I love to wear clothing that is about 2 or 3 sizes bigger than me. However, I can never find things to wear in any cute clothing store like Rue 21, Forever 21, Hollister, American Eagle, the list goes on. I resort to Old Navy (which a fabulous store and I love it to death) because Old Navy is accurate on their clothing sizes.

Places like Rue 21 and Hollister appeal to the smaller clientele. I'm also in no way shaming skinny/small girls. I'm saying that their Large or Medium sizes don't fit people who are a Medium or a Large. When I shop there, I can't find anything below an XL, which, also, by the way, doesn't at all fit me.

This, to some, doesn't seem like a big deal, but to me, it's the world. I want to cry when I put on a 2XL thinking it'll be loose on me and I'll be comfy and cute, but instead, it's too tight on my upper body and makes me look ridiculous. There have been countless times when I've been shopping in a trendy store and I find a cute top or dress but my stomach sinks when I see that it's a size L, because I know it's not going to fit me. When I do find clothing that does fit me comfortable, it's bland. It doesn't have any cute designs, print or even a good color.

This isn't a movement of conformity to clothing stores, I don't expect a riot. However, I am so very tired of my self-esteem to get lower and lower every time I go shopping or even out in public. To me, it seems as if I'm made to feel like I'm bigger than I should be. I'm always trying to lose weight, but I can't stay at home and wait to work off the weight and have nothing to wear that's cute. I feel uncomfortable going out when I can't find anything to wear.