Being the designated driver has always seemed like a double-edged sword. On one hand, you stand in sober silence as the people around you seem to be having a significantly greater time, yet on the other, you have the mental capacity to think simple thoughts and go to the bathroom without assistance. Let's embrace being the designated driver, and not let driving your drunk friends around crush your morale. Here are just a few reasons why being the designated driver is actually a pretty fun gig, and not something to be dreaded.
1. Being sober gives you the ability to judge your friends, and know that if they were in your shoes, they would be judging you too.
2. Sometimes it's nice to be able to walk in a straight line, and not feel as if the ground beneathe you is quicksand.
3. Your liver deserves a break once in a while. Even if it is only once a year.
4. You become fully qualified to add 'nursing skills' to your resume.
5. Going to the bathroom means you're sitting ON the toilet, and not with your head IN it.
6. It's safe to say you won't be getting any concussions or mysterious bruises.
7. Words make sense.
8. You immediately become a more entertaining version of yourself to your drunk friends.
9. Drunk texting you EX will not be a problem, of course, unless you want to.
10. You can make your drunk friends buy you gas, and then even maybe a slurpee.
On a serious note, being the designated driver is an important responsibility. Let's all take a moment in 2019 to say thanks to that grade A friend who puts your safety above their alcoholic tendencies.
Today I am 
Go to the gym
StableDiffusion
Listen to more music
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Have more patience
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