In order to know how to love, you must also love yourself.
Jesus said one of the greatest commandments was to love your neighbor as yourself. We always talk about the neighbor part, but we tend to leave out another part that is just as important: yourself.
No, I'm not talking about self-centered love that thinks of yourself before other people. I'm talking about genuine self-care, gentleness and patience towards yourself; the same love you would give to others.
Self care is extremely important. You're not being selfish, and you're not acting like the world revolves around you. I promise. Time can go by so quickly before you realize you haven't made any time for yourself, and it's important to realize it sooner rather than later.
Another important thing to realize is that self-care is not just bubble baths and "me time." Sure, those can be included in the realm of self-care, but you must include gentleness and patience towards yourself and your thoughts. It's not okay to beat yourself up all the time. The longer you beat yourself up, the longer you hold tight of those negative thoughts. It's better to recognize them, and slowly and gently let them go.
Think about your best friend. How quickly would you jump at the chance to console him or her if they were having a rough day? Wouldn't you want to correct them if they kept talking about how awful of a person they were because you're the one that can see the light in them?
Now, why wouldn't the same care apply to yourself? The one that's been with you through thick and thin? Be gentle on yourself, you are all that you have.
I've been told before that it is hardest for us to do the acts of kindness to ourselves that we love to do for others. In my case, I really love to build people up and make them feel valued. Therefore, it's so difficult for me to extend the same mercy for myself even though I am just as deserving. It's hard when you recognize your own faults all the time!
In this, let us remember to be gentle and to not get discouraged. Discouragement is the work of the devil and it is what gets in the way of our best progress. I promise, you deserve all of the love and care you so willingly give to others. It is important to give yourself a break.