"I'm depressed."
"Why are you depressed?"
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"I got a bad grade on my exam, and I was late for class this morning. This day couldn't get any worse. UGH I'm just SO DEPRESSED."
We all know this person, or these people.
In today's society, we use the term "depression" a little too generally, allowing it to stretch across far too many situations. This tends to happen with many common mental disorders, such as anxiety, OCD, bi-polar disorder, paranoia, and even eating disorders. People who may fall under the professional diagnosis of any of these disorders are subject to having their condition be treated lightly, and as less-than what it actually is. While individuals don't necessarily wish to be judged and isolated from the world because of their condition, they also deserve to be recognized as different from society in terms of mental health. This is fair, and in the long run, will benefit someone struggling with depression, anxiety, or any other disorder. They can be treated and supported, as opposed to "blending in" with all of the self-diagnosed depressed individuals out there. You can be sad, but do us all a favor, and think about others before jumping to the conclusion that you're clinically depressed over a failed math exam.
Having been diagnosed with both depression and anxiety, it is easy for me to become angered when someone identifies as being "depressed" on a daily basis, when in reality, they haven't been educated on what depression truly is. I've compared my story and my perspective on the condition with many others who've shared my struggle, and we can all generally agree on a few common attributes of this disorder.
1. Depression is something that you normally struggle with alone. At least at first. I remember when I first began isolating myself off from friend groups, activities I enjoyed, and any sort of human interaction. I didn't go around the next day and flaunt this to everyone I knew. "Hey guys, so I didn't talk to anyone the other day, or for this past week really. I hardly left my room. Also, my diet has consisted of Cheetos and ice cream. Where's my award?" There is no reward for locking yourself away in a box and not opening it up. I know I didn't come out of my secluded place until some good friends started slowly dragging me out by the hand, and telling me it was going to be okay. I honestly didn't even think of myself as depressed until someone made it clear that I was. The more you know.
2. Depression is something you desperately want to get rid of, yet your heart continues to cling to it. In other words, it's not this state you're trying to attain to be like everyone else. There are some people (I won't say this without pointing out that I can also carry this tendency) who tend to think that when you state you are having a problem, they say they are having a similar problem, or they attempt to one-up you. Thanks. I was searching more-so for comfort, but if you want to turn this into a competition by comparing the severity of each others situations, go right ahead. If a truly depressed individual opens up to you and expresses their need for help, drop everything and HELP THEM. They are telling you of their pain because they trust you, and they need you. Please, for the love of all that's good and holy, don't take this as an opportunity to talk about how depressed your bio lab has been making you. Hey, maybe you truly are equally as depressed as your friend. In that case, you can both lean on each other for support, and open up about your feelings. but do NOT make someone else's mental health about YOU.
3. Depression, Anxiety, OCD, and eating disorders all seem uncontrollable to the person experiencing them. During the peak moments in having these disorders, you feel as if they have you with your hands tied behind your back and are leading you to your grave. As dower as it sounds, it's true. Once you conquer these monstrous plagues, you feel like a different person. However, during your struggle, you experience drastic change. Depression tells you to stay in your room, alone, because you'll just be sad if you go out. Anxiety threatens to bring on a panic attack if you do or don't do certain things. OCD drags you under by forcing you to perform certain tasks before you can move on to important things. And an eating disorder will feed you nothing but lies 24/7, telling you that if you gain any weight, people will take notice and stop being your friend.
For these reasons, along with so many others, it becomes offensive when everyone takes on the role of someone suffering with a mental health condition. These are real disorders that inflict a huge portion of individuals every day. While it may not feel as severe, saying you're clinically depressed when you've never experienced a real form of depression is like saying you have diabetes when you simply have low blood sugar from not eating. It's not accurate, and your words might be more harmful than you think.
I know it's hard- for some reason, modern society has embraced having a mental disorder a little too much. It's now a "cool" and "normal" thing to have. But you know what's actually cool? Having a lot of supporters out there that people can fall back on and trust with their struggles! I know that I would find it more helpful to talk to someone who wanted to help me through things in any way possible, rather than someone who thought my disorder could be brushed off like a crumb on a plate. And I write this as sort of a PSA, warning those who haven't even thought about this issue to re-think how they might talk about mental health. Everyone has their struggles, everyone has bouts of depression, but not everyone is weighed down by the ball-and-chain that is clinical depression every single day. Simply help those who need it, love the pained and struggling individuals in this world, and open up to someone if you think you might be struggling with a beast of a mental disorder.
