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Health and Wellness

13 Things I Think About On A Daily Basis

Depression Is Real, and It's a Fight.

Caitlin Langdon

Jul 25, 2016

Wichita State University

115

13 Things I Think About On A Daily Basis

Nicholas Monu

1. I'm worth it.

Whatever "it" is, I deserve it. I'm worthy of whatever "it" is.

2. I don't deserve that.

Love. Time. Effort. What could I have done to deserve any of this? I just exist. That doesn't warrant someone's attention or affection.

3. I love myself.

I'm so beautiful and I've spent so much time trying to get healthier. I look great in this crop top. I can wear whatever shorts I want.

4. I'm not as good as I think.

I post about being so in love with my body and in love with my make-up. Those feelings float away after seconds. I post gorgeous pictures of myself so I can look at them and say "wow, she's gorgeous," but a part of me doesn't seem to get that this gorgeous person is me.

5. I'll get through it.

Life goes on. I refuse to give up. I WILL be OK.

6. These feelings won't go away.

It's like those scenes in movies when a sad song is playing and the character slumps into a corner and cries. That's my life.

7. I need help.

I need to ask for help. It's just too hard right now. I can't do this alone.

8. I can't ask for help.

If I ask for help, I'm weak. I'll forever be labeled as weak. I can't be weak. I have to be strong.

9. Who would help me?

The only person I can trust is me. No one would get it. No one can get it.

10. I have to help myself.

I have to tell myself it's OK. If I don't, I'll eat myself alive. This is a battle, and I refuse to lose. You have to pull it together, Caitlin ...

11. I can do this.

I have no reason to give up. I can do this.

12. I CAN.

There is no giving up. I'm here. I have my family, and I have myself. I'll be fine.

13. I'll be OK.

I have to be OK. I WILL be OK. Nothing happens automatically. I will do this. For me, for my family and my future. I WILL do this.

Depression is living in a body that fights to survive, with a mind that tries to die.

I refuse to die. I will fight this.

Please notice that suicidal thoughts are not included on this list, because thoughts of suicide are something that need to be shared aloud. This list is filled with the things I think about, but will almost never say out loud. If you ever feel like you want to die, or have the urge to take your life into your own hands, please call your local Suicide Helpline.

If you don't know how to find your countries Suicide Helpline, I've added a link here.

If you're in the United States, the helpline is 1-800-273-TALK(8255), you can also chat online here. There's also a helpline for people who identify as LGBT and are between the ages of 13-24, their number is 1-866-4-U-TREVOR (488-7386).

I've called the suicide hotline once, and I don't think I've ever been more content with who I was than in that moment in time. Please, never hesitate to call.

If anyone believes in fighting, it's me. Never give up, and know there's always someone out there who loves you.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Lifestyle

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The Struggles of Being A Last Semester Senior, As Told By Michael Scott

25 reasons your last semester in college is the best and worst time of your life

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The day you walked onto your school's campus for the first time you were scared, excited, and unsure of how the next four years of your life were going to turn out. You doubted it would go fast and even though you weren't positive about what your future plans would hold, you had plenty of time. You figured out your major, added a minor or two, joined a handful of organizations and all of the sudden you're here. Your final semester of undergrad. Now you've got 25 problems and graduation is only one.

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