How are you?

This is a question that I never know the answer to. Should I tell them the truth and say that I’m exhausted and stressed out? Or should I lie and say that I’m doing fine? Thinking about what I should say takes a while so I decide to say I’m pretty good. Not necessarily a lie, but not the whole truth either; telling them the truth would be too much.

They don’t care that much.

I have depression.

And I have anxiety.

To deal with these on a daily basis is extremely challenging. My mind is never clear, it doesn't turn off; unfortunately, it comes with the territory.

Depression is a constant state of exhaustion; anxiety is not being able to sleep.

Depression is not caring at all; anxiety is caring too much.

Some days I take a nap at 3 pm; and other days I can't sleep until 3 am.

It’s a fear of failure with no urge to be productive.

It’s feeling everything and yet nothing at all.

It’s wanting to plan for every. single. thing. but knowing you lack the motivation to actually get anything done.

It’s never being late because in your mind being late is the worst thing that could happen to you.

These are both very isolating, it feels like you have to keep it all in. You wouldn't want to burden anyone with your feelings, but you also feel like they wouldn't necessarily understand. It's hard.

Sometimes its just easier to deal with it alone.