I kept telling myself not to write this article but I have come to the conclusion that I should not try to hide my political opinions, especially in this election.

So, it is important I say that I am still (yes, still, as of November 7th) not entirely sure who I am voting for in the 2016 presidential election. Honestly, I do not think I could have picked any two worse candidates to cast my first vote as an American for and, frankly, I am disappointed.

Elections should be exciting. Any time when we, as Americans, can practice the invaluable privilege of participating in our democracy should be celebrated and approached with appreciation. However, as many of us are feeling as this election comes to a close, we are filled with frustration, anger, confusion, desperation, sadness, and utter disappointment.

Every once in awhile, I imagine what it will be like going into the voting booth on November 8th, seeing the names lined up on the ballot and being faced with the impossible decision of which box to check off. Realistically, on November 8th, we all have two choices: Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, both of which are not ideal candidates to represent most Americans.

Hillary Clinton is infamous for being corrupt, untrustworthy, disingenuous, power-hungry, “crooked”, pro-establishment and status-quo in a period in American history of seemingly unprecedented discontent with “politics as usual” while, on the other (smaller) hand, we have Donald Trump who, rightfully or not (though, I air on the side of “rightfully”), has been referred to as a racist, sexist, xenophobic, Islamophobic, homophobic, transphobic, bigoted, fascist, incompetent buffoon.

I do not like either of these candidates and it frustrates me to no end to have to theoretically decide between these two. If I were to base my decision entirely off of the candidates’ respective policy positions, the choice would be clear but, in this election especially, nothing is that simple.

I am left to pick between two people who constantly lie (yes, both  candidates do, check politifact and you can see all of the lies).Two people who I cannot trust. Two people who do not represent me. Two people who do not deserve the office. Two people whose reality of being my president terrifies me.

I can honestly say, right now, that there is no way that I will vote for Donald Trump. Besides disagreeing with every single one of his policies (if you can even point to any concrete ones besides building an unrealistic and never-going-to-happen wall), I strongly oppose the nature of his (and his VP’s) ideologies. Donald Trump and Mike Pence’s campaign was founded on hate: hate for Mexicans whom Trump called “rapists and murderers”. Then, Trump proposed to unconstitutionally ban an entire religion from entering the country when he targeted Muslims as a generalized religious people who endorse and practice terrorism and violence. Prior to this, Mike Pence, as governor of Indiana, proposed the most anti-LGBT legislation in American history which would effectively legalize discrimination of LGBT+ individuals under the guise of “religious freedom". Among this, Donald Trump has historically and consistently demeaned minorities of all kinds by bragging about sexually assaulting women, making racist comments about Hispanics and Jews, and exploiting thousands of hopeful people out of hundreds of thousands of dollars with his illegal “Trump University”. He has insulted veterans and war heroes like John McCain by saying he “prefers people who weren’t captured” when he himself received several questionable deferments from the Vietnam War. Donald Trump has gone bankrupt several times and evidently does not pay federal income taxes, proving his incompetence and hypocrisy while his reality show “The Apprentice” and his catch phrase “You’re fired!” show his lack of empathy and compassion to other humans. Donald Trump is a narcissistic, insecure, hateful, unintelligible, unqualified, and deplorable man and there is absolutely no chance of me voting for him.

Being the opponent of such a detestable candidate, Hillary Clinton should easily have my vote but, as the election has progressed, I have steadily become more and more opposed to casting my vote for her. In the Democratic primaries, I supported her opponent, Bernie Sanders, but as he endorsed her I began warming up to her. Such warmth was turned cold when I became aware of the collusion between the Clinton campaign and the Democratic National Committee (who is supposed to be a neutral entity) against Sanders. With the shady and seemingly illegal actions of the Clinton Foundation, Hillary’s paid speeches to Wall Street, Hillary’s email scandal, and the Wikileaks which portray the thick roots of her corruption, Hillary has become a candidate I cannot trust, regardless of who endorses her. Her track record in foreign policy is disastrous and her social policies seem contrived and pandering. I easily agree with most of her policy positions but I cannot trust her on the majority of them because of her untrustworthy and politically motivated nature. If I were to vote off of policies, she would be my choice but I am reluctant to vote in such a fashion.

In a few words, Donald Trump personifies everything wrong with American culture while Hillary Clinton personifies everything wrong with American government.

I get it, people are pissed off at the current state of the union. We seem to be dipping back into a recession, we feel less safe with the increasing threat of domestic and foreign terrorism, we are frustrated with the problematic and frustrating deceit of the Obama administration, and Americans are looking for change, even if that change is dramatic. Neither of these candidates are my ideal choice, far from it. In fact, if either party (as I do not claim any party affiliation) had a different candidate, I would (most likely) vote for them in a heartbeat, as would many of you reading, I suppose.

I know status-quo is one of the last things we need right now as a country but I do not think anything will be fixed by handing over the country and the safe-haven of democracy to a man like Donald Trump. Everything about the future of a Trump presidency scares me and, as a person who is primarily motivated by compassion and empathy, I cannot and will not vote for him. Hillary, however, is clearly no angel and has had her fair share of unforgivable moments but she at least is intelligent enough to run the country. She has seen the presidency from so many different perspectives and she has so much (good or not) experience she can utilize and base her presidency off of. I don’t want to vote for Hillary. I really don’t.

If I had another choice, another realistic choice, I would vote for them but, as it stands, I have two choices and one of them is the embodiment of everything I despise and oppose politically and personally. Up until I realized how close the election would be, I was content with voting third party or not voting (for president) at all but everyone, whether you want to vote for Clinton or Trump (it does not matter), should go out and vote because this is not an election you should sit out from. When the choices are this serious and polarizing, you cannot take a break. This election will be close, razor-thin, and New Hampshire is a swing state so your vote is as important as your right to vote is invaluable.

Democracy is not a spectator sport.

Vote.