You wake up to the annoying sound of your alarm. You open your eyes and see sunlight streaming through your half closed blinds. You reach over to turn your phone alarm off and check the time. There, on your screen are several snapchat notifications. People who responded way after you went to sleep. You open the app and respond to the snaps with half asleep grins and then proceed to watch the stories of the people who posted several videos of randomness.

Now I don't know about you but i only actually talked to(or snapped daily) about 7 of my 50 "friends". I spent minutes of my live mindlessly clicking through others people lives. No offense to those people-but I watched seconds of lives that I didn't need to see. Yes, I care about my friends but no, I don't need to see what they are doing every minute of the day. I also don't need to watch an entire concert over snapchat or listen to conversations of people I don't even know.

One day I woke up to the annoying sound of my alarm and opened my eyes to see the sunlight streaming through the half closed blinds. I reached over to turn off my alarm and check the time as well as to see who snapped me after I went to bed. The first thing I did before I even got out of bed was check snapchat and one day I woke up and asked myself "why do I need to spend 5 mins going through this?" "What about this brings me joy?" "What's the point of having 'snap streaks' if you don't ever ACTUALLY TALK to one another? Just saying the word 'streaks' does not count as talking!"

That's when I first starting considering going on a social media purge--deleting snapchat and Instagram(I couldn't delete Facebook because of work) just to see how different my life would be. My conclusion after being off it for 1 1/2 weeks is that I was unconsciously addicted. Bored in public? Scroll through Instagram. In the car? Snapchat your friends. Post on your story. Spend time making it look like you're having more fun than you actually are. Post the very best picture of yourself so other people think you look great, and are happy, and are having more fun than you. And me? I was enviously wishing I was with those other people enjoying those fun night outs.

Even though it was deleted off my phone, I instinctively went to check it all the time--whenever my attention was lost even for .001 seconds. I even bartered with myself--get snapchat back but not check people's stories. Only check Instagram once a day. But I refused. I didn't want to be the type of person who has their phone be their first and last sight of the day.

I've been telling everyone I deleted snap chat for "health reasons." That's the truth. It's not healthy to live life through an Instagram filter. Trying to make everything more beautiful than life is. I don't want to see and pretend through snapchats camera. Thinning my face, adding weird voices, and flower crowns. It's not real. Why should I try and live a life that's not real?

I don't want to focus on faking a good time so one person can see my story. I want to live a good time so I can be a part of my own story.

Yes, I deleted my social media for "health reasons." Yes, I think its going to give me more confidence. Yes, I still feel like I'm missing out sometimes by not checking. Yes, I think this will help me live life more fully. But it's not up to social media, it's up to me to make that happen. It's certainly easier to live for me when I know no one else is going to watch it.

I wake up to the annoying sound of my alarm. I open my eyes to see the sunlight streaming through the half open blinds. I reach over to turn off my alarm. I don't check my notifications. I lie back down, take a deep breath and listen to the air conditioner hum and the birds sing their morning songs. I know I have a full day ahead...places to be, people to see. Seconds of my life to exist in the real world rather than hide in a social media app. Minutes of life I'm taking back to just breathe.