Hi, I am your average American girl who goes to college, likes to hang out with friends, and have fun. Like many millennials, I had an Instagram, a place to proudly display all of my cute outfits, fun adventures, and many friends. It looked like I was living the life from an outsider's point of view.

The truth is, I was self-conscious and miserable.

I am one of the lucky people who can say their life has been great. I didn't have any illnesses, I had loads of friends, I thought I was decent looking, and I was well off. I am privileged enough to go to college and have supporting parents, and I was overall leading a good life.

I decided to give Instagram a try my senior year of high school because I wanted to see what others were up to. I would check my Instagram here and there to find out where my friends have been, what people were doing on their weekends, and so on. I remember posting my first picture. I only got a few likes on it because I did not have many followers, but after that moment, I decided I wanted to create an aesthetic for myself, and a different image of who I am.

Eventually, I was able to get up to 50 likes a picture. That's nothing to brag about, but I always felt like I had to prove to all of my 200 followers that I was beautiful, happy, and lucky. It got to the point where I was finding every moment to take a picture. I would plan dates with my friends just so I could have a picture to post on Instagram, saying "Look how beautiful and happy I am! Don't you wish you were me?"

Yes, I do realize I was self-absorbed, but Instagram was like a competition. I would always look at other people's profiles, and feel jealous. I would ask myself, "Why can't I be as skinny as her? How come my hair won't style like that? How does she have so many clothes? It's not fair, her boyfriend takes cute pictures with her. Where did she find that dress? What is her secret to being perfect?"

Perfection. That is what drove me to delete my Instagram. I would see people with flawless skin, clothes, hair, body, and boyfriends, and I would get insanely jealous. It got to the point where I would photo shop every single picture of me before uploading it. I would make my arms skinnier, slim my face down, bring my waist in. I felt like a lesser human being than all of these perfect, "unphotoshopped" girls that I was comparing myself with.

I eventually decided enough was enough. I was too focused on when I was going to upload my next picture, and I was getting too jealous looking at all the girls and their pretty lives. I was about to delete my Instagram, but at the last second I just disabled it because I had photos that were only on there that I treasured, and I didn't want to lose them.

Regardless, my account is now inactive. It has been a few days since I have gone off Instagram, but I feel refreshed. I am not worrying about how many likes I am getting, what others are doing, or if I need to take a picture soon. I feel like I can live again and be myself while not worrying about what others thought of me.

I know this seems like a stupid thing to worry about and it's a first world problem, but the truth is, this affects many other young adults out there. I have talked with my friends before, and they too feel jealous at times, and they strive to have their lives match up with someone else's.

Instead of worrying about how skinny I am now, I can focus my times on creating genuine moments with my friends, taking only a couple pictures, and just living life the way it is intended. I realized I do not have to prove myself to anyone, and that I am lucky enough to be alive, go to college, and be happy.

Be your beautiful self, and live life each day. Try deleting or disabling your social media, even if it's just for a day or two. You will realize what really matters in this world is your short and fleeting life, not proving yourself to others. Go out and do what makes you happy.