I should know better than to try to argue with strangers on the Internet.

Really, I should. I’m not a fan of conflict, and going toe to toe with some belligerent noodle in a Facebook comment section can get me so fired up that I think about it for days afterward. The vast majority of the time it doesn’t do an ounce of good, and I know it. And yet, despite the best efforts of my mother, my boyfriend, and my own better judgement, I end up doing it anyway. Because I want reason to win.

That is how, earlier this week, I wound up on a friend’s Facebook post debating a complete stranger— let’s call him Ronald— about circumcision. Yep, you read that right. I am opposed to circumcision for numerous reasons, but that’s another story for another article. What’s important for the moment is that I defended my stance as articulately as I could without giving this guy a complete dissertation on the subject. I cited statistics. I provided links. I explained my rationale. And, unsurprisingly, I was met with insults reducing facts to “opinions" and outright insulting my intelligence. I was fuming.

Until…

My friend showed up on the post and announced to Ronald that I graduated from college at 19 years old and am on my way to a PhD next (a little premature, perhaps, but I’ll allow it). “What have you done since high school besides argue on every one of my Facebook posts?” she demanded.

And something absolutely fascinating happened.

I expected Ronald to continue insulting me, or to dismiss my friend’s statement as irrelevant to the discussion at hand. Instead, he backpedaled so hard I think his bike inverted. He apologized to me profusely and indicated that he would investigate more into the resources I had provided. He promised that he wouldn’t make such quick judgments about people in the future. He apologized some more. He “conceded the argument,” saying that he hadn’t realized that I was “actually intelligent.” Then he sent me a private message apologizing again before attempting to add me as a friend.

Needless to say, I deleted that particular request.

What is so surprising to me is that my degree was far more important to Ronald than my argument. It didn’t matter to him what I had majored in. It didn’t matter to him what grades I may have gotten. None of the research I had done or points I had made counted for anything. The only thing that Ronald found compelling was my B.A.

On the one hand, having this newfound superpower is kind of neat. DiplomaWoman, crushing arguments with a single sheet of paper! On the other hand, it’s super problematic to directly equate a college degree with intelligence. First of all, I want to reiterate that someone like Ronald won’t learn anything from an exchange like this, except maybe what it’s like to have to eat crow. I’d be very surprised if I learned that his stance on the issue actually changed; he’s just going to have to be more cautious about where and how he talks about it.

More importantly, though, receiving a college education is a tremendous privilege. I am a smart person, and I did work hard to earn my degree, but I was already a smart and hardworking person before I graduated. I still would have been a smart and hardworking person if I had never been able to attend college at all; I just would have been less educated in my field of study. When did I become worthy of listening to, exactly? Was it when I started college? When I was halfway through? The moment before I walked across the stage? Once I had my degree in my hand? I'm going to let you in on a secret: I learned a ton in college, but I didn't magically become smarter or more worthy of respect when I moved my tassel from the right to the left.

Don’t get me wrong, I think that a college education is incredibly valuable, both personally and professionally, and in our society in particular. However, to assume that a person is going to be smarter regarding every issue just because they made it through university is simply untrue. Need proof? Ask me to do any calculus at all (just kidding please DON’T).

There are also plenty of incredibly intelligent people who simply don’t have access to the kind of support and resources that I was lucky enough to have. Yeah, I’m smart, but I’m also really, really fortunate. College— and all the other responsibilities that go along with it— is incredibly taxing, both personally and financially. For some college isn’t the right path at all and for others it is just not possible, so it’s downright foolish to claim that someone isn’t smart just because they chose not to go. It’s even worse to act as if they aren’t deserving of respect.

So, to all the Ronalds out there, here’s what I wish for you:

If a conversation is really what you want, try to inform rather than insult.

Respect everyone as a default, regardless of their education (or lack thereof).

Pay more attention to someone’s argument than to the number of times they’re donned a cap and gown. Their words will probably be a lot more compelling than the letters tacked onto the end of their name.

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