Honorable Mentions: Chad Michael Murray as Brad Radwell, Rodger and Dodger, Predatory Lez, Jennifer (aka Creepy Candle Girl), and Melanie Dorkus
17.) Gigi Caldwell
Credit: http://scream-queens.wikia.com/wiki/File:Gigi_Caldwell_PTSD.gif
Best Quotes: “I graduated summa cum laude from a fourth-tier law school in the Caribbean, so I’m a pretty smart cookie.”
“We can make it fun, like a Friends episode, except, you know, someone’s trying to murder all the friends.”
Not only was Gigi certifiably insane, she only wore clothes from the 90s. Although the 90s were arguably the best decade, the clothes are still cringe-worthy.
16.) Zayday Williams
Credit: http://acollectivemind.com/2015/10/12/scream-queen...
Best Quote: “I’m about to smack you so hard your tampon’s gonna fall out.”
After being elected co-president, Zayday still does pretty much nothing to stop Chanel’s reign of hilarious terror. Zayday has some pretty good lines, but overall she’s basically just there to be Grace’s BFF that tries to make Kappa better.
15.) Chanel #5
Credit: http://scream-queens.wikia.com/wiki/Libby_Putney/G...
Best Quote: “I find that my particular style of speaking and gesticulation is extremely off-putting to most boys. And girls. And anyone. But with Kappa as my calling-card, everyone seems to overlook that.”
Chanel #5 is clearly the most inferior Chanel. She’s the most annoying one because she whines practically non-stop and she’s not funny enough to cancel out her bad qualities. Admittedly, Abigail Breslin does a great job playing her, but even that’s not enough to redeem Chanel #5.
14.) Grace Gardner
Credit: http://giphy.com/gifs/scream-queens-screamqueensed...
Best Quote: TBH Grace really doesn’t say anything worth quoting.
Goody-Two-Shoes Grace can’t even solve a murder correctly. She nearly had Hester, but in the end she fell for her story just like everyone else. You’d think that after she spent an entire season chasing the killer, she might get killed and thankfully leave us without having to hear her whining anymore, but no, little Grace survived the entire season despite being the most naïve freshman to ever set foot on a college campus.
13.) Hester Ulrich
Credit: http://giphy.com/gifs/scream-queens-emma-roberts-c...
Best Quote: “You’re probably thinking, what kind of a person could drive a six-inch stiletto into her own eye socket? A person who did her homework, that’s who!”
Hester is an evil mastermind serial killer that gets off scot-free, and she’s definitely the creepiest Kappa on the block, but at least she doesn’t whine her way through the season one like some other Kappas we know.
12.) Wes Gardner
Credit: http://adultum.tumblr.com
Best Quotes: “Maybe we could discuss it over salad or something; it’s a step up from coffee without the commitment of a whole meal.”
“I know you think sororities are magical sisterhoods, but it’s actually Game of Thrones once you pull back the veneer.”
So, Grace’s dad is pretty much a stalker and super overprotective. At least he makes a mean playlist and he obviously loves his daughter very much…well except for that one time when he accused her of being a serial killer.
11.) Pete Martinez
Credit: http://giphy.com/search/pete-martinez
Best Quote: When he did his spot-on impression of Matthew McConaughey’s ‘alright, alright, alright.'
So he might have been a murderer bent on revenge for not getting into the Dickey Dollars Scholars, but we were all rooting for him to end up with Grace. All the murdering aside, he seems like a pretty good guy.
10.) Deaf Taylor Swift
Credit: http://www.gleeforum.com/index.php/topic/40135-dea...
Best Quote: “You guys, what do you think Taylor Swift is doing right now?”
Even though she was only alive for 1 episode before tragically getting her head mowed off by the Red Devil, just the concept of her character was enough to get some laughs.
9.) Dean Munsch
Credit: http://www.bustle.com/articles/121313-is-dean-muns...
Best Quote: [I’ll call you.] “Because I can’t destroy every phone on earth, that remains a possibility.”
“The new Kappa seems to be aligned so clearly with mine and the rest of the student body’s almost militant commitment to political correctness and acceptance of different and unusual points of view. As long as they’re always left-leaning. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go disinvite Jerry Seinfeld from speaking at commencement. He told a joke about a woman once. Allegedly.”
So I’m convinced that Dean Munsch is either a honey badger masquerading as a human, or the reincarnation of Rasputin. She survived puffer fish venom for crying out loud and she managed to stay Dean of the school and become a best-selling novelist.
8.) Caulfield
Credit: http://giphy.com/search/caulfield
Best Quote: “CHAD RADWELL!”
Caulfield was the bro-iest bro to ever bro out. Even after having both of his arms chain-sawed off in order to save his bro Chad Radwell, he managed to still stick with them. It was a bummer when the Red Devil finally got him with an axe; unfortunately pure bro-ness couldn’t save him.
7.) Boone Clemens
Credit: http://giphy.com/gifs/scream-queens-chanel-3-boone...
Best Quote: “You know who should direct that movie? Michael Bay, the greatest director of all time.”
When Chanel #3 believes he is his own ghost, he just rolls with the punches, so he’s obviously a very laidback guy. Also, Nick Jonas in tight plaid pants makes him automatically in the top half of this list.
6.) Chanel #3
Credit: http://www.maguzz.com/4/billie-lourd-tumblr.html
Best Quote: “The only feelings I have for you are rage and pissed off-ed-ness.”
“The ghost of dead gay Boone is walking the earth.”
Fun fact: The actress that plays Chanel #3, Billie Lourd, is the daughter of Carrie Fisher, who plays Princess Leia in Star Wars. Chanel’s winter accessory started out as a joking tribute to Leia, but apparently was so good that the producers decided to make it part of the plot.
5.) Chanel #2
Credit: http://scream-queens.wikia.com/wiki/File:Chanel_2_nails.gif
Best Tweet: He’s killing me! The red devil is killing me! I let him into my room and now I’m being stabbed to death!!! Somebody please help me! Please!
Chanel #2 might have been the dumbest Kappa in the house, but at least she died before she could be too annoying. Also, the scene where she gets killed was the funniest murder of the entire season.
4.) Chanel Oberlin
Credit: http://newscult.com/days-week-pictured/
Best Quotes: “I’m sorry, did I ask you to pull down my panties and blow a compliment up my butt?”
“Does your job description entail arguing with your customers, thereby delaying the moment at which they receive the irresistible nutmeggy sweetness of the extra hot, no-foam pumpkin spice latte they’ve been thinking about all day?”
Chanel may be a whiny, ruthless tyrant, but let’s all be honest here…we all kind of wish we were her. I mean, her closet is bigger than a New York apartment and she has a group of minions, which she names after herself, to do her bidding. What more could a girl ask for? Bonus: The Chanel-oween spoof of Taylor Swiftmas was one of the funniest scenes in the entire season.
3.) Earl Grey
Credit:http://scream-queens.wikia.com/wiki/File:Earl.gif
Best Quote (about him because let’s be honest, he’s just there to look at and say solemn things in a British accent): “You can talk after Earl Grey reads the minutes from last meeting. Wait, Earl Grey can’t read the minutes because Earl Grey was murdered!” –Chad Radwell
The fact that they call him Earl Grey is enough for him to be one of the best characters on the entire show. Plus he gets points for his romanticism.
2.) Denise Hemphill
Credit: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/419819996492663615/
Best Quote: “Shondell, why you got a knife in your throat?”
Although perhaps the most ineffective mall cop ever, Denise Hemphill is also the funniest. The only drawback is that her best friend Shondell, the Best Buy security guard, didn’t last more than three episodes. They could have been a comedy duo to rival Amy Poehler and Tina Fey.
1.) Chad Radwell
Credit: http://giphy.com/gifs/scream-queens-screamqueensed...
Best Quotes: “Everybody wants to get with this; women, men, animals in the zoo, plants probably.”
“We’re just trying to have a nice day hitting golf balls at hippies.”
“In the ghetto, if you run around the streets with baseball bats yelling the red devil’s name, they have to come out and fight you. There’s a whole code, believe me, I know.”
“Plus, are you gonna make, like, a habit of just, like, pushing people down the stairs? 'Cuz I think we can agree, not the most adult form of conflict resolution, Chanel.”
Yes, Chad Radwell is an unfaithful, cheating, narcissicist, but his one-liners are so funny that you can practically forgive him for all of that. And his family is so messed up that we can see why he turned how he did and you’ve gotta pity him a little for that.
