You’re sitting in the middle of class and all of the sudden, that morning coffee hits. And YIKES, now you have to go to the bathroom. Is it too extra to leave the building and go to your favorite bathroom on campus? Absolutely not. And I present to you, the Definitive Ranking of CofC’s Bathrooms, so you can find the closest nice bathroom nearby during those dyre situations.

10. Liberty Fresh Food Company

THE WORST BATHROOM ON CAMPUS. It smells like a horse farm, is filled with posters about healthy eating and is located right next to the trash and dirty dishes. I once saw a smoothie spilled down the front of one of the stall doors. I’d rather pee my pants than use this nasty place.

9. First Floor of Maybank Hall

First of all, EW. Second of all, EW. Not only is Maybank one of the busiest buildings on campus, but the bathrooms are always crowded. Because they are always in use, you almost always have to wait in line for one of the three stalls. And they’re always out of paper towels — a big no-no.

8. First Floor of Lightsey Center

This bathroom feels like a dungeon. You have to weave through a series of hallways just to get to it, and then you feel like you’re trapped the whole time you’re there. The mirror is pretty large and the stalls are roomy, but the basement-feel is a vine kill.

7. First Floor of Addlestone Library

There are people constantly going in and out of this bathroom, causing lots of disturbances in my restroom experience. The only perk of this bathroom is that there are lots of stalls, which means no wait, and that it is cleaned very regularly. Not the worst bathroom, but by far not the best, earning its spot towards the bottom of the list.

6. Second Floor of the Stern Student Center

Why is this bathroom so cramped?? It is only enjoyable to use if you are the only person in there. If you’re trying to wash your hands while wearing your backpack and someone is trying to pass behind you — FORGET ABOUT IT! The coolest feature is the cubby to hold your phone while you’re on the toilet, but it doesn’t outweigh the lack of space.

5. Third Floor of Bellsouth Building

While this bathroom does have a stall with a window view, it doesn’t give it any brownie points. The window brings so much sunlight into the bathroom that it is always so hot. The graffiti on the walls is a distraction and takes away from the rest of the building.

4. First Floor of the Calhoun Annex

An absolutely average bathroom. The worst part is that if you’re tall then you’ll be able to see the person next to you over the stall door. The beautiful tile design on the floor is a major plus. Cleaned semi-regularly, okay smell but it is overall mediocre at best.

3. Third Floor of the School of Science and Math Building

Very quiet, sparkly clean and great lighting. One of the best bathroom stall experience you will get at CofC. Worth the walk up two flights of stairs and it serves as a great distraction during your three-hour lab.

2. TD Arena

The most spirited bathroom on campus, decked out in maroon and white. The mirrors are very big and there are so many stalls. Because of the constant sporting events in the building, the stalls are always spotless and smelling like daisies. Take a pit stop before heading off the to student section for the next Cougars’ basketball game.

1. First Floor of Randolph Hall

The bathroom that is often used by our king, Glenn McConnell, himself. So of course this bathroom is dressed to the nines. It is decorative, a single stall and as clean as a baby’s butt. The best bathroom experience you can find on this campus. And this bathroom has existed for years and years.

While there are hundreds of toilets on the CofC campus, they can’t all be on top. If you’re aware of some great bathrooms, let me know, as I’m always looking for rest and relaxation while using the restroom. And next time I have the urge to pee in the middle of class, you know I’m headed to Randolph Hall.