Spotify has been my saving grace in my limited career as a college student. Lots of heavy reading to do? Soundtrack playlist. Need some motivation writing a paper? Put on some upbeat indie tunes. Not sure what to listen to? No problem, I have a playlist that's 630 songs long. And, speaking as a poor college student, the best part is that it's all free! Of course, that means that we all have annoying ads to worry about. How annoying, you ask? Read on.
1. Ads that are for other bands.
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You're listening to your playlist, minding your own business, when suddenly a new song begins playing. Hmm. You don't remember adding this song to your playlist. Oh. It's an ad. Of course it's an ad.
On the other hand, this can also lead to you discovering new music that you love, which is super fun.
2. Ads that have nothing to do with Spotify that directly address Spotify listeners.
"Hey, Spotify listeners! Hey, while you're listening to that great playlist, open a bottle of Muscle Milk!"
(This is an actual ad I just heard while composing this list.)
This is just ridiculous, and I will accept this only if someone can show me the correlation between music and Muscle Milk.
3. Video ads.
These usually end up making my computer freeze and then Spotify crashes and everything is ruined.
4. Spotify ads that talk about how annoying Spotify ads are.
It's like ads are becoming self-aware. I only wish that they would be self-aware enough to stop being so annoying. This is oxymoron at its finest.
5. Ads that happen at the most inconvenient times.
This always seems to happen to me when I'm getting into the groove of doing homework. There's nothing like someone yelling about Taco Bell to kill whatever vibe you're trying to create.
6. Ads that are about ads happening at the most inconvenient times.
This is also oxymoron at its finest.
7. Ads that try too hard to be funny.
I'm looking at you, ad with a laugh track. I'm sorry. You need to stop.
8. Ads for heavy metal bands.
This is the musical equivalent of someone sneaking up behind you and shaking you by the shoulders. I have yet to find anything more jarring than having instrumental music interrupted by someone shredding their guitar and vocal cords into my headphones.
9. Literally any KFC ad that features Colonel Sanders.
I have nothing whatsoever against KFC, but his monotone voice grates on my eardrums. Also, his puns are super terrible, and I've heard some bad puns in my day.
10. Audio trailers for horror movies.
I hate horror movies with the undying passion of a thousand suns, and there is nothing worse than doing homework alone in your lounge at 3 a.m. and hearing one of these. I am alone, it is dark outside, and my dorm is making weird noises, PLEASE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS.
Does this mean I'm going to start paying for Premium? No. No, it does not.
