Something I've always struggled with as a biracial woman is figuring out how to be comfortable within two races. Developing an identity on my own was difficult, as it always is with adolescence, but the pressures of social constraints and stereotypes made it even harder.
I constantly felt torn between "acting Black" and "acting White," though I was always wrong when I tried to act either way, and it was even worse when I acted like myself.
I had to figure out Blackness for myself, and I am still actively sorting out what defines Blackness for me. One thing I'm secure about is that I'm a Black woman who is comfortable in that fact and no one else can define my Blackness for me.
So I would like people to stop trying.
Young Black people are constantly under pressure to follow certain stereotypes society defines as Blackness. They are pointed towards certain music, certain fashion taste, certain vernacular, and even love interests.
If anyone strays from this pattern, they are shamed and thrown out of their own Blackness, as if it is not their own to shape and define.
Blackness is whatever its identifier decides it is. It's impossible to define an entire group of people based on their race and, in fact, follows along with old racist ideals from slavery. We are diverse, distinct, and human. We like what we like. There is no sense in shaming someone because they do not fit into what box society has adamantly placed them in.
I want Black people to stop telling me to listen to different music.
I want Black people to stop telling me how to speak, or simply pointing out that I "sound White."
I want Black people to stop saying "Oh, Black people don't do that."
I want Black people to stop shunning me because I don't fit the script for a "normal Black person."
Imposing this kind of pressure to become something you're not plays a huge role in the stress of growing up. Black kids face so much from outside their community already; their culture is exploited for the whole world's use and thrown back in their faces, unwanted when they use it themselves. To insert more stress from within by forcing them into certain stereotypes creates a pressure cooker of emotions that contributes to self-hatred.
Who are you to define someone else's identity? Who are you to control another human being simply because you are uncomfortable with their differences?
We are already conditioned to the racism we face from the outside world, but we must also acknowledge that prejudices within our own community are just as hurtful.
