In psychiatry, anxiety is defined as a feeling of worry, nervousness or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. The DSM-5 defines Generalized Anxiety Disorder as chronic, constant and often unsubstantiated worry. There are so many types of anxiety disorders with their own specific definitions: Separation Anxiety Disorder, Selective Mutism, Specific Phobia, Social Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, Panic Attack, Agoraphobia, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Substance/Medication-Induced, Anxiety Disorder, Anxiety Disorder Due to Another Medical Condition, Other Specified Anxiety Disorder, Unspecified Anxiety Disorder. Most symptoms include fatigue, difficulty concentrating, sleeping problems and muscle tension.

But what do all of these anxiety definitions have in common? None of them come close to describing what a person with anxiety feels every day.

Anxiety for me (and many others) is much more than a single definition. You can't describe it, but we can sure as hell try. It is muscle tension the day after a panic attack. It is heart palpitations if you're my best friend Liz. It's waking up every night at 3 in the morning with a completely different mindset than you fell asleep with (suddenly there are monsters under my bed, someone hiding in my closet, and I suddenly think of every deadline I have within the next two months). It is a pain that starts in your stomach and explodes up through your chest, and can be paralyzing. The only feeling I can relate it to is an adrenaline rush, except more painful. Anxiety causes your mind to go a million miles per hour, and can overwhelm you so much it's impossible to get out of bed. But staying in bed makes it worse because you're entirely restless, but unable to move. Other days, bed can be your sanctuary to avoid everyone, all responsibilities, and because anxiety itself can be so exhausting. Anxiety is feeling like there is a 50-pound weight strapped to your chest and you can't breathe until someone comes and lifts it off of you. And at the same time, anxiety is wanting to be smothered by someone to make that weighted feeling go away (so in short, anxiety makes absolutely no sense).

But that's only some days. On other days, anxiety can be completely manageable. It can be as simple as biting your nails, biting the inside of your cheeks (sorry Mom), or chewing on your pencil. It can be getting all of your assignments done days in advance to avoid more anxiety. It can even be leaving 10 minutes early for everything because being late makes you anxious. And it's definitely playing the worst case scenario game in hopes of feeling better about any outcome, but actually picking the worst outcome and convincing yourself that will happen.

Unless you have an anxiety disorder, it can be very hard to explain to people. Anxiety is a very dynamic disorder, and it can be different to each person. So rather than try to truly define it, here is what it's not:

It's not something that can be talked down.

You can try to think of every scenario and every cause for something possible, and talk it out as much as you want, but it won't make you feel any better. People can try to talk you down as much as they want, but it will have little to no effect. Anxiety runs its own course and is on it's own agenda, and words do not affect it.

It's not an excuse.

It may be why we lash out, but it is not an excuse for lashing out at people. So I apologize to anyone who has been hurt by my anxiety, it was never my intention to share this burden with you.

It's not (always) the real you.

Anxiety takes all shapes and forms. It can be motivating, and enough to scare you into action, but it can also turn you into a monster. There are times I lash out, especially to my close friends and family and most times I can't even remember the hurtful things I said or did afterwards. It's like a whole other person comes out, one who doesn't care about anyone but herself and doesn't care who she hurts. If there's anything that always has room for improvement when it comes to anxiety, it's taming that other half you can't control.

It's not being self-centered or selfish.

We are not panicking that people are mad at us because we think the whole world revolves around us and that every action we do has a huge effect on the people around us. We are panicking because if there's any one thing that people with anxiety fear the most, it's losing people we care about and we will do anything to avoid it. Including asking people at least 10 times if they're mad at us and apologizing even when we don't need to. And thinking every whisper or gossip we hear is about us, and then trying to think of how we can fix it. Just accept it. Our minds are literally always going.

It's not the same for everyone.

No person's anxiety is the same as someone else's. Just like every person has a different biggest fear, everyone has different things that make them anxious. The effect may be the same, but the cause is usually different.

It's not untreatable.

There are millions of coping strategies. There's more extreme treatments, like therapy and medicine. Even though they seem like a last resort, never be afraid or embarrassed to try either of them. Asking for help is normal and A-OK Music can be your savior, whether it's listening to it or playing it. Finding hobbies is a great way of dealing with anxiety, iPhone games and other video games are great ways of distracting yourself when anxiety becomes unbearable. Keeping your brain distracted means it's not worrying. Different things work for different people and sometimes it takes a combination of things. So don't be afraid to try everything!

It's not anyone's fault (especially yours).

People with anxiety are just born that way. It's nothing you or anyone did, but you do have the power to cope with it and change your perspective. Let anxiety empower you, not inhibit you.

And, most importantly...

It does not define you.

You are a person with anxiety, not an anxious person. It may be part of who you are, but it does not define you. It can be overcome, with a little motivation and a lot of support. Anything is possible, despite what your anxiety might be telling you.

Anxiety by far is the biggest demon I have ever faced. But would I change having anxiety? Not for anything in the world. Since the day I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, I'm a completely different person. I'm still very anxious and have more than my fair share of bad days, but I have learned to use my anxiety to better myself rather than tear myself down. Anxiety is a big part of who I am, and while it accounts for my worst traits, it also makes up some of my best. Anxiety is what makes me compassionate, because I don't ever want people feeling as crappy as I do when I'm anxious. So I like to relieve any burden that I can. It allows me to reach out and help others with anxiety, because believe me we all stand together. It gives me my humor, because I would rather people laugh with me than laugh at me. Anxiety motivates me in everything that I do, because I'm too anxious to get any grade below a B and I'm too anxious to ever give anything less than my best effort. It motivated me to step out of my comfort zone, and become president of my sorority's chapter, something that I'm genuinely proud of and never would have been able to do a few years ago. I found my passions through coping with anxiety, including writing, traveling, crafting, coloring, shopping, and eating all kinds of food. Without my anxiety, I wouldn't be Grace, and I'm not entirely sure the people in my life would love a less neurotic, less spazzy version of me. I'm proud to have anxiety because it's a huge part of what makes me, me.