In my little more than a quarter century of life thus far, I have often found myself on the losing end of things. Meaning, my mindset in tandem with some of the negative influences around me, at any given time, resulted in a self-fulfilling prophecy that was unrelenting in doling out both pain and anguish.

I joined the Infantry to find something I felt was missing from my psyche. I wanted to be confident and self-assured; however, at the time, I wasn’t sure on how to achieve such a feat. The very thought of me being a confident individual developed a mythical connotation in my mind as if I were pursuing a unicorn.

The truth of the matter is I did eventually find an answer, or, at the very least, the beginning of one. One of my favorite rappers in high school was Immortal Technique. As I’ve become older, one line he said has always resonated with me on a deeper level.

The line goes, “If the solution has never been to look in yourself, how is it that you expect to find it anywhere else?” This, on the surface, may sound like one of the thousands of cheesy fortunes one may find in any Chinese restaurant; however, the true meaning of this has only made itself clear to me in the last two months or so.

I am not attempting to be a motivational speaker and I am far from perfect. To be honest, I have not even come close to reaching my individual goals, but I am making steady progress. I realize now, more than ever, that life is a marathon, not a dead sprint. At times, it may seem like everyone is ahead of you; however, how you view that particular moment in your own mind can forever alter your sense of life as you know it.

I have wallowed in the seas of negativity for far too long; as a result, I understand how it is when you feel lower than the ground you walk on.

I know how it feels when you’re laying in bed at night pondering if everyone would be better off if you didn’t wake up in the morning.

I know how it is when friends and family can’t begin to understand why you are the way you are.

There is hope; however, it is not easy to see for those of us who have unwittingly cocooned ourselves into a shell of our former selves

Beyond the superficial social media posts, the gym has given me purpose. It is something I look forward to, and it has equipped me with the tools to better myself; despite that, it is up to me to utilize them and build something I can be proud of, so to speak. The time, energy and effort I have expended have molded the gym into something I greatly look forward to.

I have been consistent with lifting for the past five to six months; unfortunately, it was rather aimless, and I did not have a specific goal in mind. In the last two months, I’ve created a wall of inspiration with pictures of quotes and people that inspire me.

Furthermore, I’ve written down and visualized my goals. Previously, I thought all of these tips people usually give were cliché statements uttered by many; to my surprise, doing the simple aforementioned tasks has made a difference, and I feel better than I have in a long time.

One of the difficulties with a topic such as this one is that there is so much information out there already; as a result, we seem to become desensitized to it and begin to ignore the most simple of advice.

My goal in writing this was to reiterate the fact that simple steps, nothing crazy, have helped in me making progress towards my goals. I am not where I want to be but my mindset, as of late, is such that I acknowledge I am working hard, and I have made progress.

It is no simple task rewiring one’s circuitry, especially after one has fallen victim to the quicksand known as hopelessness. Fortunately, if you allow yourself to be open to it, there is a chance for you to come out on the other side with a more realistic and hopeful view towards life.