In my last relationship I learned a lot about myself.
I know, I talk about "my last relationship" a lot, but it taught me a lot about myself, how I should be treated, and my likes/dislikes in a relationship. It was my first big relationship. An important time. You know?
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My current relationship is also teaching me a lot about myself. I have seen two completely different sides of myself. I have learned so much about how to love and be loved. I am having fun, and living a life that I love. I feel like I am myself, and I feel loved.
Now ladies, what I have also learned is, there is a huge difference between a man who wants you to be healthy with him, and a man who wants you to lose weight for him.
Does that make sense?
In my last relationship, weight was an issue. It was a toxic undertone to a somewhat happy relationship. It didn't have to always be spoken, although it occasionally was, that he wasn't happy about my weight.
In my current relationship, I am 110% comfortable with my body. I love myself. I know that he loves me. He tells me all the time that he loves me, and that I am perfect the way that I am. I believe this because I see it.
Now, what he doesn't love are my eating habits.
Woah.
Yeah, you read that right.
My boyfriend doesn't love my eating habits.
Now, I know what you're thinking. I thought it. I was on a very high horse, and I tried to turn what he said into something it wasn't. I tried to say "why aren't you happy with my body?" Because the offended part of me that knows I eat like crap was just given a bit of truth, and I didn't like it. I was mad because it was true. It was something I did not want to hear.
Mainly because I hate being wrong, and I love junk food.
For a while, I fought him on this. Not because he was trying to force feed me lettuce and count my calories, but because I am beyond stubborn.
If you have someone in your life who wants to help you change for the better, let them.
I went kicking and screaming, all because I didn't want to give up my diet that mainly consisted of sweet tea, chic-fil-a and noodles.
I was sticking to my guns, too. Until, we were eating dinner one night, and he said, "You know, I love you very much. I love you exactly the way you are, but the way we eat is unhealthy. All that I am asking is that we both try to eat healthier. I don't want one of us to die early in life, and the way we eat, that is a possibility."
It made me want to cry. I mean, I am always complaining of knee problems, back problems and headaches. All problems that could more than likely be fixed by exercising more and eating/drinking right.
When I say that there is a difference between eating healthy with your man, and losing weight for your man, that's what I mean.
You can be as skinny as they come, and still eat like crap and be unhealthy.
You can be overwight, obese even, and have a healthy lifestyle.
He wants me to be healthy. That's it.
He isn't asking me to lose 50 pounds, or be someone I am not. He just worries.
It's very hard to have a dialect about weight. Which is why weight shouldn't be the topic of conversation, health should be.
It's not a bad thing to be open and up front about health.
It's hard. Eating and living healthy is an entirely new mindset. It's not something you should take lightly. It's a lifestyle. I've never had to eat healthy. I don't even have to now, but I don't think it's a crazy request that we make healthier choices - even though I fight hard for my mac and cheese.
I am doing my best to live healthy, with the man I love, because he wants what's best for us, it's good for me, and it's not even that bad.
So, until next time, you can find me drinking lots of water and going to the gym.
Maybe, you'll even come across an article about fun exercises, or yummy and healthy food!
