Death.

No one likes to talk about it. Maybe its because the second you hear the word, the people you've lost pops up in your head. The people you've tried so hard to not think of. People say that "time heals", but due to personal experience I know that that isn't true. Over time you just learn to dull down the pain, how to cope better. But no matter what you do, the grief will never go away. You'll meet someone with the same name. You'll see someone that shares the same characteristics. You'll hear their favorite song, or smell their favorite smell.

Along with grief comes denial. For a little while you try so hard to pretend it didn't actually happen. You want nothing more than someone to tell you that it's all just a sick joke. But you cant pretend forever. Life forces you to feel it because now things have changed. There are pieces of your life that left with them.

Along with denial, comes guilt. You feel bad because the image of them in your head slowly starts to diminish. You cant seem to remember what their smile looked like, or how their voice sounds. And then someone will come into your life and slowly start to fill in the space they let empty when they died. Then come the "what ifs". What if I didn't do that? What if I did this more? They will eat you alive.

With guilt comes anger. Anger towards the one who died. Anger towards yourself for not holding on to the moments you shared and not spending as much time with them as you should have. And yes, anger towards God. You begin to question His plan for you, you cant seem to wrap your head around the idea of how he could let this happen. The ultimate question is always "why".

"Why them?"

"Why me?"

Death affects us all. It affects the old, and the young. It affects the men, and the women. It affects the rich and the poor. It affects the known and the unknown. It touches us all, and no one enjoys it. It's permanent and cannot be taken back.

October 8th, 2016 will be one entire year since my mom passed away. I'm afraid of this day. I'm afraid of the emotions I'll be forced to feel. But I know ill have the strength to get past it. I know this because of hope. The hope God gives me. He is the Creator, the King of Kings, and we know how this story ends.

In 1 Corinthians 15:20-26, it talks about how we were created in the image of God. So since he resurrected after he was put to death, we shall do the same. Death will not win. Then it says, "For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive". we have hope in these words. Death couldn't hold him back, so why should we fear it? He will return one day, and on that day he will conquer all, and the last enemy to be destroyed is death.

Death will die, and God will be the one to kill it.