Dear You,

It's the 20th and I'm writing because I want to

Do you remember play practice

That time you hit me with a chair

When Ray was in a bad mood

We laughed and you pulled my hair

That's when you became my best friend

And it was great ever since then

Jules said you were sexy

Jill said you were hot

You wore yellow when you met me

Back then I said "he's not"

I didn't mean it for a second

Though your hair is long and blonde

Your eyes are something special

Like staring into a pond

But listen, you, I'm sorry

I know we've grown apart

You're acting kinda distant

But I love you with all my heart

Dear You,

It's the 24th and I'm leaving

I'm going with the Jazz group

Packed my bags and head for Disney!

And I know you love coasters

I'll make sure to ride them all

Just saying I love you mostester

Sorry that I haven't called

But remember when you had 9 pancakes

And our moose game and our "gang"?

You love the food my mom made

And the park where we used to hang

I miss our talks at Fro-Yo

But you've been out smoking pot

It wasn't always a problem

But now it's just a lot

I guess that's why I haven't called you

I will when I get back

My momma will make you more pancakes

And you'll love every stack

Dear You,

It's the 26th and I'm 15 in 3 days

Disney really sucks, man

It's getting harder every day

No one talks to me here

Eileen ignores me too

I'm not good enough for all of them

I haven't said it, but I miss you

This has nothing to do with singing

It has to do with friends and cliques

I'm that stupid awkward puzzle piece

The one that just won't fit

But remember your birthday?

We saw the shark movie and we cried

I was scarred from that movie

At least it was a good time

Remember JJ's impression?

You laughed until you peed

Oh you always hated Meghan

That's why it was so funny!

Dear You,

It's the 27th and I'm sorry

It's been hard but now I'm done

I'm giving up, please don't be angry

At least my last days were fun

You're my llama lover, you know that?

You were the best and I loved you for so long

Don't cry, okay? I'm happy

The pain is almost gone

My birthday is now my death day

29th I'm good as dead

15 years is long enough

To fight with monsters in my head

But remember the school trip?

Savannah failed at what I'll succeed

You talked her out of it

But you can't do that for me

I know you're high or drunk and don't care

and you've been that way a lot lately

You're not you with your short hair

You're not the one who used to play with me

You were like my little brother

Always beating each other up

And I know you love my mother

So keep her company when I'm done

Dear you,

It's the 28th and I found out...

I didn't see it coming

Everyone's talking bout you now

Oh, Mark, oh mark how could you?

My llama lover and my friend?

How could you make me feel bad?

About my choices to choose death?

I'm a hypocrite I know that.

But quite frankly so are you.

Standing still on the train tracks...

Now what am I supposed to do....

I wish I could join you

On the clouds up with God

I know you didn't believe in him

But I do... I do a lot

I'll just take this as a sign

From you and from Him

Like you sang, "we're not broken just bent"

You were right and now I'm going to live

But... do you remember when it was worth it?

The tears, the pain, the laughs, the stains, from dirt, from pancakes, from Fro-Yo and all those bruises too

I'll cherish the damage in my head I got... cause I got it just from you.

I'll love the train when it rides by

And the P!nk song on the radio

I'll smile and wave hello, not goodbye

This is all just a phase, you know?

At least I got an angel.

And a funny blonde one at that.

I kept your yellow shirt, Mark.

Eileen kept your hat.

I'll eat pancakes and I'll think of you

The 9 of them you ate

For Shannon's surprise birthday party

You still had room for cake

I didn't know you struggled, Mark

You hid it pretty well

You laughed and smiled and joked mark

I couldn't even tell...

So rest in peace my llama lover

This poem's just for you

Big shout out to the fighters!

I'm a fighter too