as I am starting a new chapter in my life, full of new and different challenges, new people and places, new joy and excitement (don't forget stress), i wanted to remind my upcoming college freshman and those coming after them on a few important things that I had to constantly tell myself leading up to where I am now.
Dear high schoolers,
The most important thing for you to remember is that you should NEVER let ANYONE define who you are. you are whatever you want yourself to be. you are not the emotions you feel. you are not the challenges you face. do not try to find your identity in high school because you WILL change again in college. as hard and tempting as it is, do not change yourself for others. know your worth and respect yourself.
popularity isn't all that it is made out to be. sure, lots of people know you, and some probably even want to be you, but you aren't actually any different from the others. don't let the want of attention convert you into someone different. in the end, you will always be you. being you is the best thing you could ever do for yourself - own it. you'll be a lot more confident once you learn to love and accept yourself. it sounds cliche, i get it, but it really is true.
high school challenges you in many, many ways whether it's your integrity, your self image, your morals, your beliefs, but so will college. however, with those challenges, you will become 10x stronger and better prepared for college and life in general.
Just to be blunt. Having a girlfriend or a boyfriend isn't all that. do not date because you feel like you need to or because everyone else is or because you want the physical stuff. that's not the purpose of dating, okay? i am not saying to never have your first kiss or hold hands with the one you like, simply be in a relationship because you want them to be in your future. also--relationships can be emotionally challenging and a distraction and boys are gross (sorry).
another important factor: be friends with the person before you date them.
High school sucks when you start losing friends. trust me, you will be back and forth between friend groups throughout high school. that is okay. it's actually really nice to know what friends you can always count on. true friends will stick by you and encourage you no matter what, even when things get rough.
high school also shows you what it means to be a real friend to others and what it means to put others first. important: be careful with your words because they have deeper effect than you realize. i know it's hard to control negative thoughts and words, but you gotta work hard and train yourself. i have learned that it is important to find balance. Your friends are there for you to rant to and to listen to, but make sure you do the same for them because they might just get tired of your "all about me" show and end up leaving.
The high school years may seem slow in the beginning, but suddenly, you'll be in your senior year and realize that you're leaving home in a year. the best advice i can say about this is to make your high school experience count. you should make the most of your time and do whatever you want! go to waffle house at midnight. hike a mountain in the morning to watch a sunset. tell that guy or girl you like them. wouldn't you rather reflect on something you did instead of regretting not doing it later?
As Matthew 6:34 says, "therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. sufficient for the day is its own trouble." so, take each day as it comes, and worry about what is next when you come to it. i know it's really hard to not be stressed in high school. in fact, i don't even remember when i wasn't stressed because i'd worry about my homework during the summer time. being in college hasn't changed that. i am still stressed about all of the current and future homework and tests due, but then God reminds me to take one day at a time. you just gotta breathe and trust in Him.
In high school, your relationship with your parents will change, whether you get closer or grow farther apart. no matter how many times you argue or don't see eye to eye, remember they love you. no matter how many times they tell you no, they love you (even if you believe they are being unreasonable, in which they might be). also, just listen to your parents because it will save you from wasting your time and from getting in trouble more. you should also let your parents know that you appreciate them, even if it's hard to show sometimes. stupid pride. one day, as you're getting ready for college, you're gonna realize you're gonna miss your mom's home-cooked dinners, the constant lame family jokes, your dad messing with you, your mom always taking care of you when you're sick, and your sibling(s) messing with you and getting you into trouble. trust me, you will miss it one day.
You may not know your purpose yet or what you want to do as a career. that is okay. you WILL figure it out, but you gotta enjoy your high school years too. the most important thing you can do is to love yourself and believe in yourself. it takes a while to get to that point because we live in corrupt and negative society, but you will get there.
To end my little letter of advice, i want to say that your high school experience is gonna be exactly how you make it, so make it good. be wise. have fun. be spontaneous. eat a lot of food. lastly, but most importantly - pursue Christ. you got this.
