An open letter to girls everywhere who struggle with the status quo, fitting in, going through changes, hurting their parents and friends, losing people and trying to retain faith.

Dear 6th grade me,

When you go to school, remember what your parents tell you about your friends. "Choose them wisely, don't let anyone distract you from your school work, practice your piano and viola. Make sure you are listening to God." Please stay humble and praise God in all things, daily praise reports are important. Don't say a curse word because you hear them throughout the halls.

Dear 7th grade me,

So what, you dropped out of orchestra? Who cares if the other students look at you differently? You had to make a choice - choir, or orchestra. It's not because you couldn't do them both, but it's easier on your parent's pocket. They aren't doing it to make you unhappy, don't resent them. Remember that the girls that are judging you for not wearing makeup are just upset with you for not meeting their status quo. It's okay to wear your hair in a ponytail every day. Who cares if the other girls give you dirty looks, don't take it personally. You are still beautiful, you are a creation of an Almighty King. That's cooler than painting over God's work, you're only 12. It's not a beauty pageant, it's school, you're there to learn, not impress people with your looks. It's okay to be the single-girl. Don't look for relationships, you can have crushes. Don't break dad's heart, yet. He's still not ready. Don't get mad at mom because she won't let you go skating alone, she just wants you to be safe. You are not grown, stop insisting that you will be fine and can take care of yourself.

Dear 8th grade me,

I want you to know that it's okay to be the girl that studies on Friday nights, it's okay to make B's. Do NOT beat yourself up over a 92, it is not the end of the world. Your teachers are there for you. I know that you feel resentment towards your parents, but don't hurt them, don't spite them. If you don't believe me now, you will learn later. You NEED to keep practicing, otherwise, you are making a choice to be the best mediocre you that you can be. Don't settle for enough to get by, you want to be as close to perfect as you can be. Stop letting your attention be disrupted by boys, school is for learning. Relationships aren't for a middle school mind. Why did you stop reading your bible, daily? Pick it back up. Just because you don't have a home church anymore, doesn't mean you get to not practice your faith daily. Stop making excuses.

Dear 9th grade me,

RUN AWAY from all of the boys. Sing louder during choir, don't be scared. This is just one of your crafts. Don't listen to those girls, don't think that makeup makes you beautiful. Don't think that you can add heat to your hair and it will make you more attractive. It doesn't matter. You don't have to go to every football game. You don't have to wear tight jeans. You can wear your t-shirts daily, put your hair back up in a ponytail. Don't feel like you need to be someone you aren't. Don't use the excuse that it's just you maturing, or hitting puberty. Modesty, girl, modesty. Remember what your parents tell you, "school is for learning, not trying to keep a reputation." Who cares that they are all talking about you? People that know you know that it isn't true, stop standing up for yourself against snakes. This is the devil using the sin of others to disrupt your walk in faith. Keep going to that church that you don't like with dad. He's trying to get his weekly dose of Jesus, don't make him go alone. Your mom is exhausted from her work. Cut her a break. People drain the life out of her, just love her and uplift her. Don't give her a reason to not want to come home. Here's the big one, do not resent God for His plan's in your friends' lives who passed away. Do not hate your life. Do not take your hurt out on people. Do not resent God, I say again. You control the outcome of what happens next, do not make impulsive decisions. High school really does test your faith. Do not let other influence you. I repeat, do not be a sheep. You are hurting your parents. Let them say what they want, you are patient, continue to be long-suffering. You are more than this.

Dear 10th grade me,

It's okay to be hurt, but it is not okay to not get up and try again. You are more than this. Do not skip class, do not get angry with those who do not understand. Stop blaming your parents for your attitude problem. Don't carry anger over into the next day. Apologize when you are wrong. Stop becoming so quick to anger. Why is your bible packed away in a cardboard box? Why did you unplug your piano? Since when did you decide that it was okay to stop trying? You are being lazy. Stop being mean to your friends who have been nothing BUT wonderful to you. You are not allowed to stay out this late, why are you disobeying your parents? What have they done? Nothing, stop.

Dear 11th grade me,

Oh, that boy is wonderful. You're right. He is super awesome and funny, but he's not your person. Don't start taking classes because that's what he does, don't change your mind on what you want to do. You want to fly an F-22 in the Air Force, why are you not taking the steps to get there? He's distracting you and you're distracting him, you're both allowing it to happen. He is your high school romance, not your husband. Do not feel the need to shower him with everything. Stop allowing him to be your safety blanket. You can function without seeing him every day after school. You're caking your face with make-up, stop doing that. Your parents gave you their bible from their anniversary, why is it in your desk drawer? They bought you such nice journals and you fill them with love notes, stop. You don't have to say yes to everyone. Saying yes to someone does NOT make them your friend. You have to have time management, you are taking on too much. Why are you yelling? You're still angry, stop yelling at your mother. Stop trying to make excuses, the only person who can control you - is you. God's silent, I know. You aren't wanting a relationship with Him, you want Him to fix your problems and turn your life around for you. That's not how He works.

Dear 12th grade me,

I want you to know how proud I am of you. Change you, change your circumstances. You and your high school romance called it quits. I want you to know that you are beautiful, you can go to school with bags under your eyes. It's okay to cry. I know it is hard, sleeping in the bed with your parents at 17 is a little unreasonable, but who cares? You will seek help, you start attending a regular church. You start counseling with your pastor. You do all of this with the help of your parents, they uplift and encourage you, even in the times when you are angry... they love you through all of this. You start driving your very own car. Your parents start to trust you. You make it out. You graduated early, you get jobs. You start saving money and you apply for college. Your parents help you at a minimum because they want you to take care of yourself. You turn 18 and you stop worrying. As soon as you leave high school, your life turns around. You chose Christ - always. You don't choose boys. You will reconsecrate your body to Christ, become sanctified through Him. You will give a testimony on the tribulation you have overcome. You will break chains down in other's because you are not afraid to say "I messed up." You become humble, you will be called wise and you will appreciate all that has happened to you up until now. You are better than you have been. You make your parents proud, you walk across the stage even after everyone said awful rumors and your head will be high. You choose to walk in faith, not in the shadows of the status quo. Thank you for putting your hair back in ponytails, braids, wearing bows. You are beautiful because your heart changed, not because your looks did. You are more humble, honest and you are finally starting to get it. Don't look back on these times and regret anything. You know what good came out of these tribulations. God is intentional, not irrational. He WILL give you more than you can handle. When He said He wouldn't, He also says "Through Christ, I can do all things." Nothing is more than you can handle, because with God - all is possible.

Dear Younger Me,

"I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well." Psalms 139:14

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11