Dear younger me,
Hello, you may not think it now, but you made it out. You move away and decide to go to a city. You are now a bit older and wiser. There are a lot of things that you don't understand yet. You will grow and learn so much over the next 5 years. High school isn't the best time of your life. The people you meet in high school won't keep in touch. You loose contact with them and after you graduate one of them passes away. Don't forget how important your friends are. You will meet people, some of which you like and hang out with all of the time and there will be others you cannot stand. That is okay. These people aren't worth getting upset over. They have their own stuff to worry about. You will go through some of the most trying times of your life. You are so strong and have so much to look forward to in the future. Stop questioning yourself so much because you know more then you give yourself credit for. It gets easier, right now it's hard, I know this, I'm still struggling but I am getting through it. Therapy is amazing and frankly you shouldn't be upset at yourself for stopping therapy with all those other people because frankly they weren't good.
You will be roommates with a lot of different people but none of them stay. Don't worry about it, it happens and you know what? If they didn't want to stick around that is their loss. Admit you're uncomfortable more. Stop trying to please everyone around you. If someone says something about you that you don't like say something. Don't let that just "Roll off your back." It affects you and how you function in your day to day life. You need to grow a backbone and stick up for yourself. You can do it, I know you can. You just need to let yourself go there.
Have more fun. Stop worrying so much and go do something fun. Go to Barnes and Noble more. Read more books. You own SO many books and you need to read them. You will continue to collect books and it will become an issue. Not for anyone else but yourself. You have so many things you enjoy doing and yet you don't because your afraid. Fear is hard to overcome but you can do it. You've done it time and time again.
Tell people you love them more. You don't say it enough and you never know when they could be gone. Frankly there are some people who have died who you didn't even talk to in a long time and there are so many things I regret. Don't let fear make you miss out.
Don't worry about parties. You have gone to parties and hated it. So it's not even worth it to try. I also hate bars/clubs, so avoiding that as well would help you save money and avoid wasting time.
You are stronger then you know, braver then you think and smarter then you give yourself credit for. Keep your head up and keep fighting. You got this.
Love,
Older You
