This is to the people that were always forced to stay strong.
Since I was little, I have always been the armor of the family. My mom raised my younger sister and I by herself, and as the older sister I was always taught to be the strong one. With this, I became prone to hiding my feelings. I barely cried, and when I did it was behind closed doors. Whenever tough situations happened throughout the family, I was the family armor.
It wasn't until recently that I realized that hiding my emotions was detrimental. When I got into college I was struck by a major lifestyle change. Not only was a city girl put into the DEEP country, but an introvert was forced to be social. With trying to cope with school and a semi-social life, I had a breakdown.
I remember the night like it was yesterday, my roommate had left for the weekend and I was by myself. Leaving a restless mind alone to think is like Trump becoming president, harmful to everyone. I sat in the room ALL day, listening to music, thinking.
"What am I doing?"
"Why am I here?"
"Does any of this even matter?"
It rained that night. Hard. Storming.
But something happened.
I don't know what.
But the rain just stopped.
My best friend texted me, without knowing what was going on, and told me she loved and appreciated me for the advice I gave her.
And that's when everything just hit me.
I need to stop holding things in. I need to start talking about my feelings and open up to the people who were desperately trying to help.
This is to anyone reading this and has been the armor: it is okay to break.
It is okay to let down your guard.
You are still strong if you show you are vulnerable.
You can let people in.
