Dear winter,
You truly are a spectacle. Your mystical yet frigid air meets most of us with a gentle, slightly alarming surprise. We wait patiently for your first snow gracing our front lawns and rooftops. We sit by the windows watching flakes gradually and tenderly fall to the ground all while sipping hot cocoa. Your lovely coldness leaves us bundled in cozy sweaters and socks, cuddled beneath covers for movie marathons. We emerge outside, tumbling clumsily into you and eager to have you engulf us wonderfully.
But then, winter, you turn into a real pain.
That lovely snow falling gently onto the ground? Yeah, that piles up. In fact, the minute it covers my entire car and I have to scrap it off is the minute I begin cursing you under my breath. And then when the plows come and shove you up against the curbs, you just become unfortunate massive mountains of filth. Your lovely, beautiful, graceful snow becomes gross and turns into some awful color. No one wants to think about clumsily diving into that.
And then the cold? Winter, you make it impossible to walk outside, let alone fetch the newspaper quickly. It is so unbelievably frigid outside that you have caused people out there to get frostbite. You’re the reason we blast the heat and forget about the snow after the first day it falls. Your coldness is just plain terrible and unforgiving.
Oh, don’t get me started on all the layers. Yes, cozying up, wearing big sweaters, and watching a bunch of movies is fun—until your legs get cramped up. Because of you, winter, I can’t go outside to stretch them or get some fresh air. And do you want to know why? Because that fresh air is just flat out dangerous. And another thing, wearing all those layers is fun and all until you start sweating your limbs off. Tell me, winter—how is it possible to be freezing and sweating all in one season? Truly, let me know.
Don’t get me wrong. I love winter. It’s a beautiful and magical season; it’s filled with cheer, love, and super fun outdoor activities.
Until the very next month, that is. Winter, you get old real quick.
You’re filled with icy sidewalks, and you are the reason why I slip and fall on my way to class 50+ times. Do you know how humiliating that is? You’ve turned innocent parking lots into ice skating rinks. You are the demon creator of black ice.
Winter, you are your own breed. No other season can compare to you, and really, you should be proud of that. However, you’re starting to make a lot of people mad. So maybe, just for the sake of most of the population, could you tone it down just a little this year? It would be greatly appreciated. And hey, you never know—maybe you could earn the title of “favorite season” for some people. Just think about it.
Sincerely,
Pretty much everyone
