Dear Santa,

What's going on man? Mrs. Clause feeding you well? Keeping you jolly *wink wink*? How about those elves of yours? They holding down the fort?

Look Santa we need to talk. I know I am 25 years old and should be asking for anything but HELP A SISTER OUT! I have tried my best to be nice but you know people like to test my patience, but I PROMISE I tried. There are just a few things on my list I need you to consider.

1) Money.

If you can please dig deep down in a red sack of your last and find a money tree that would be great. Preferably one with nothing but 100's on it would be appreciated. Being an adult is expensive and I ain't got time for all that.

2) Time.

We need to talk about is whole 24 hours in a day thing. After working and sleeping there is no time to get anything done. Apparently, as an adult, you have to like keep your house clean and do dishes and wear clean clothes. Who would have thought?

3) Patience.

Mine have gone out the window as an adult and I'm going to smack a bitch if I don't find some more. I'll take that wrapped nicely in my stocking, please.

4) Friends.

I guess the older you get, the less you want to deal with people's nonsense which then results in not wanting to be around people and then your best friend becomes Netflix & a bottle of wine. People are just annoying and you end up hating them but I swear I am a really cool friend! I really just want a bigger phone book on my phone to be honest.

Look Santa, I know you are the big man up at the pole so you have a lot of say when it comes to the holidays, so if you could please hook a girl up that would be fabulous. I don't want much, just the practical things in life ya know?

I can't wait to wake up Christmas morning. Ya da man St. Nick!

Sincerely,

A desperate 25-year-old