Dear People Who Walk Slow,
Why do you walk so slow? Don't you know that people have places to be? I don't know how you do it, but somehow you cause human traffic jams.
Don't get me wrong, take a lovely, relaxing stroll every once in a while, but do so in the appropriate location. When you are lollygagging on your way to class, you force everyone to walk around you. Also, do you want people to walk into you by accident in the dining hall? Is your purpose to cause mayhem?
All you have to do is put one foot in front of the other, just at a quicker speed. Trust me, if you stop walking slowly, your life will be improved for the better. People will respect your speed and not think of you as a slow walker who ruins lives.
Sincerely,
Everyone Who Walks At A Normal Speed
