Dear Avid Gym Users,

I’d like to start this letter simply by saying that working out regularly is terribly difficult when one’s bed is so comfortable in the morning. It does not help that the sun is just starting to come out, the lacrosse and cross country teams are already practicing, and more sleep is calling my name. I admire your commitment to this relationship and I hope one day to commit as much as you do to this small corner of our campus. However, in my experience from the treadmill I have noticed that there are a few types of you people.

The first type is the person who comes in the cut off t-shirt, muscles rippling, and are always checking themselves out in the mirror. This type of gym goer is singlehandedly the most terrifying; they come in and conquer whatever area they deem to be fit. Those types of people are worse when they come in packs of three or four, taking over the gym and doing various rotations to get those gains. Although I am entranced by their ability to be so committed to this craft, somehow the weights never get back and I’m left feeling a bit scared.

The second type of person is the friendly gym goer who comes fully clothed and hardly ever grunts at an inappropriate time while doing questionable exercises. These people are the ones who will help you if you ask if your form is okay. When they work out, they actually put all of the equipment away again. They smile softly when you awkwardly make eye contact in the mirror. They are the best kind of people to be in the gym with because you know they are not judging your form, your strength, or your ability.

The third type of person is the person who walks into the gym looking fully competent. They have the shirts, shorts, headphones, and shoes, but when crunch time comes their eyes glaze over and they become confused. The gym is a scary place to navigate the first few dozen times, so when it comes time to show off their stuff they freeze. They have this perpetual look of being lost on their faces until they feel they have done enough for the day and walk away from the gym with a somewhat satisfied feeling. Most of campus won’t even walk in there today, right?

At the end of the day we all secretly aspire to be healthier and happier people from walking into the rubber clad corner. I could be wrong, perhaps you are running from the freshmen fifty, sophomore sixty, or senior seventy and hate every moment in the gym. Regardless, the real goal is to walk to the top floor of the buildings and not be out of breath.

Yours Truly,

Megan