Author's Note: names of bottled water have been changed to avoid copyright infringement.

Dear Park,

Through the vast array of bottled waters, from the mountain peaks of Aguafinna, to the clarity of Intelligent Water, none compare to you, Dearpark. Y

our simple elegance and plain complexity stifles even the most seasoned of water tasters. It's as if your presence on this world contradicts all social convention, creating a paradoxical scenario in which the deepest philosophers can only hope to justify. Many wonder, but can never fully answer, "Why Dear Park? Why not Fuji or Nestel? It's all just two Hydrogen atoms polarly bonded to an Oxygen atom right?"

Those who contrive such ludicrously ridiculous notions and disrespect are forever bound to a world of ignorance and blasphemy. Your brilliant mixture of natural springs and city tap compliments the flavors of the added minerals in such a way that words (like explaining colors to the blind) will never be able to describe it. They say those who discover new things in science are "standing on the shoulders of giants." This saying is applicable to you, Dear Park, soon as the world recognizes your greatness, Aguafinna, Nestel, Intelligent Water, and especially Fuji, will be standing on your shoulders to get a better view of the horizon.

Dear Park and Dear Park only,

Sam Dong.