Dear Oklahoma weather,

I hate you. Really. I really hate you. It's mid-October. This week's forecast is in the upper 80's, and that continues at least until next week. Do you not understand that it's October? October is fall, Oklahoma. Fall. Autumn. Sweater weather. Whatever you want to call it, that time is supposed to be right now. Instead, I'm stuck walking to class every day and sweating, wondering why it's still almost 90 degrees. I'm ready for Thanksgiving. I'm ready for Christmas music. I'm ready to drink my coffee every morning.

But NO. Why? Because you suck. You love to be hot. You love summer. I can't drink peppermint hot chocolate. The thought of putting on a sweater makes me want to vomit. It's basically still summer. Come on now, Oklahoma weather! You've managed to lighten up from an unpleasant 105 to a drafty 85 but I. Need. More. Let's bring the mid-60's back, okay?

People up North are getting to do fun things like go to pumpkin patches and go apple picking, and I can only dream of such marvelous things. Every night I dream of what it must be like to wear a jacket. I know you have it in you. I know summer is so fun and everyone loves it, but it's not going to be so fun if you keep making it last for 10 months. Please don't make me cry on Thanksgiving because it's still 75 degrees out. And for the love of everything good, please don't go from extremely hot to sub-zero conditions. I know that's one of your favorite moves to pull on us weaklings.

Look, all I'm asking for is a happy medium here. Everyone wins. We all get what we want, and you, dear weather, still had your fair share of the hot, humid weather. I know this isn't easy, so I'll give you a little time to decide. Please let me know what you decide, though I pray it's to cool off a little a lot.

Love,

A Concerned Citizen