Dear Mother Nature,

Life in Louisiana, while sometimes slow and rural, is quite honestly the most unique experience I've had, specifically and exclusively based on your weather. Yes, the food is phenomenal, the culture is vibrant and alive, the government is corrupt and backward, and the backwoods are a scary place. But the weather - it's never quite predictable. But quite honestly, dear Mother Nature, I feel like you had a kid who has been diagnosed with ADHD, schizophrenia, and multiple personalities. The Spring personality is bipolar - one minute it's sunny and the next it's pouring. Summer is a little more even-keeled. It's just humid, hot, and oppressive all the time, and it lasts until November. Fall is almost nonexistent, but for the two weeks that personality shows up, it's just lovely. There are beautiful colors, a lovely breeze, actual nice temperatures, and pumpkin spice everywhere, making the basic girl so happy. But then there's Winter. Winter, who has more personalities than the other three seasons combined - and who ate too much sugar before naptime. For shame, Mother dearest. Keep better track of your kids.

Let's just have a rundown of this winter so far. December saw temperatures from 30-85 degrees. We had rain, frost, and enough sunshine to convince my flowers to start blooming again. Sadly, those flowers all bit the dust this morning, in spite of the lovely, balmy days we experienced earlier this week. Because this morning, this terrible, fateful morning, all of northern Louisiana woke up and believed their world was ending. The temperatures were below freezing (which almost never happens here), and there was a solid ceiling of ominous gray clouds. Then, as people were leaving for school or work because all the meteorologists insisted that things would be fine, something fell from the sky. That something was ice. So much ice. And, just in case you were wondering, the inhabitants of northern Louisiana are unequipped to deal with these conditions. Bridges were closed, cars were slipping and sliding everywhere, and I was quite honestly scared for my life.

Related: A Southerner’s Guide To Snow Days

That being said, after 45 minutes of tense driving, I finally made it to work, which let out early, and I'm now writing this from the comfort of my favorite coffee shop. There is still ice on the ground, and the temperature will not be above freezing until Sunday or Monday.

Now, Mother Nature, I feel sure that this is only temporary. The sugar rush will wear off soon, and by Tuesday we'll be back to temperatures in the seventies and a good, gentle rain to wash away the damage this ice has done to our spirits. But seriously, keep better track of your kids.

Sincerely,

A Southerner out of her element.