Ask anyone who knows me. I’m the girl who can’t wait to have kids one day, but can most definitely wait because me with children right now? Probably not the best mix (sorry mom).

That being said, as soon as my friends have announced pregnancies, I want to help however I can. To me, being a mother is an amazing journey that we as women are incredibly lucky to go through. But I don’t want it now.

This is in regards to us non-mommies (since I have no experience otherwise) and the odd transition we face when our friends start having kids and prefer outings with fellow mothers to talk about breastfeeding preferences and if they believe in letting their kids “cry it out” or not, while I’m picking my preference of vodka for my dirty martini at the bar down the street.

A lot of my close friends have a child, some even two, which means their lives differ from mine in many ways. Though I know their priorities change and I can’t help but look forward to that for one day and respect it massively, it makes me so sad when they become what I like to call the “mommy groupies.” They are the people who make little time for their non-married, non-birthing friends (ie. me, but don’t feel bad, me and my bottle of nice cabernet are very happy). I have a handful of these friends and I still love them dearly, but I’ve noticed a significant drop off in events they attend, people they interact with, to the point where even hearing from them via text is a supremely rare occasion. I know, as the eldest of three siblings, that my mom’s life was crazy while raising us, but she kept up friendships. I'm not asking for much because I know life as a mom gets insane, but it makes me sad that it seems like all or nothing. It’s almost like those of us who aren’t willing to strap on our breast pumps and baby Bjorns are no longer a piece of the puzzle that fits into their world.

I know this sounds like me bitching and moaning, but the truth is I just really miss my friends. I watch them via their Instagram Stories, watch their kids grow up, because the last handful of events I’ve invited them and their families to, they’ve made excuses about not being able to go but then you see them snapping about going to the beach with their mommy crew (yeah, that one hurt).

So to the mommies out there, I commend you for being selfless beings and raising little humans, but try not to cut us out of your life completely. A little text here or there wouldn’t hurt, because I really still want you in my life. Kids and all. <3