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Dear mom,

from a grieving daughter

May 23, 2019

dear mom,

you'll never read this, but i know you can see what's in my heart. i feel the need to write this out so maybe there's a chance of it all making sense in my head. i'm not sure what truly compelled me to write this, but i hope it gives me closure. i feel as if i am at a point in my life when there are so many transitions happening and it's so hard to not be overwhelmed by it all. i worry that i will be led astray into the wrong path. at this moment in my life i feel like i have disappointed too many people and i don't know how to fix it and make everything better like i so desperately try to do with everything. this is where i yearn for your wisdom, but most of all your calm words telling me everything will be okay. i'm not sure where my head is right now, but i know those are the words i year to hear from you. my 18th birthday is fast approaching. i'm excited for the many doors of opportunity it will open but it also comes with the stinging reality that hasn't really set in until now. at a time where i need you more than i've ever needed you before. my 18th birthday will signify half of my life lived with you and half of my life lived without you. i've been dreading this moment for so many years, and now it's so close. i'm not quite sure what else to say, but i feel like this was necessary in order for me to cope. i only live to be the young woman you would be proud to see today.

love you more.

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Dear mom,

from a grieving daughter

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We don't buy into these... just like how we don't buy our friends.

8. "The whole philanthropy thing isn't real, right?"

7. "I don't need to buy my friends."

6. "Oh, so I'll bet you love to drink."

5. "Can you tell me some of your secrets?"

4. "What do you do at your meetings?"

3. "Do you guys haze really badly?"

2. "Is it just like in the movies?"

1. "Sororities are so basic."

There are plenty of obstacles that come when taking care of kids, but it's a very rewarding experience.

1. You get excited when the parents purchase season passes to the pool.

2. You've become friends with the stay-at-home moms in town.

3. You get a chance to eat "kid foods" again.

4. You've traded in your cute purse for a large tote bag.

5. You have at least one car seat in your backseat.

6. Their nap time is your happy time.

7. Lunch time can be a disaster.

8. You have to play the same board games repeatedly.

9. You catch yourself using the same lines your parents once told you.

10. Your "mom-mode" kicks in at times.

11. Your heart melts a little when they do something cute.

You'll never find any souvenirs with your name on it

1. You know you are up next when the teacher pauses while taking attendance

2. When “I’m going to do my very best to make sure I know all your names” is said, it may or may be an empty promise

3. “Wow! That sounds so cool! Where is your family from?”

4. You dread when people ask you to repeat your name over and over because it “sounds so cool when you say it”

5. There’s a 50/50 chance that your name will come back either correct or incorrect at Starbucks

6. People try to find shorter, easier nicknames for you instead of calling you by your actual name

7. When someone famous or fictional character shares your name, you get so happy

8. “What’s your name?” “It’s [name]” “I’m sorry, what was it again?”

9. You’ve pretty much seen every misspelling and heard every mispronunciation of your name throughout your life

10. When you find another person with an “ethnic” sounding name, you both get excited

11. Despite the struggles, your name is pretty unique… just like you

Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

Don't Be That Person

1. “Oh, so you/your family are immigrants!”

2. “Is Puerto Rico near Mexico?”

3. “Do you speak Puerto Rican?”

4. “You look too light/dark to be Puerto Rican.”

5. “Do I need my passport to go to Puerto Rico?”

6. “Geez, you are obsessed with your flag. We get it, you’re Puerto Rican.”

7. “Why are you so loud?”

8. “So does your family know English?”

9. “Oh my god, Puerto Ricans are so spicy.”

10. “So did you eat a lot of tacos?”

11. “Are you Mexican?”

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