Dear Mister Eric Kyle Curtiss,

Why did you lie?

Why did you lie over and over again that you didn’t touch me.

Why did you tell them you didn’t touch me because I was “A Big kid”

What does my weight have anything to do with what you did to me?

Dear Mister Eric Kyle Curtiss,

Why did you tell them you never touched me because I always had boyfriends

Not because I was your cousin.

Dear Mister Eric Kyle Curtiss,

What made you tell the truth? That you raped me.

Oh, I’m sorry.. I got that wrong. We had sex, but I never said no so it was consent.

Dear Mister Eric Kyle Curtiss

how could I have said no.

With your 180-pound body on top of me holding my mouth closed and my shoulders down onto the bed.

You left bruises that night. More bruises than could be seen.

Dear Mister Eric Kyle Curtiss

I must've also wanted to see my dad cry so much that he had to leave the room.

And You know, I really wanted to see my mom bawl as she knew she was losing her mother.

And you know what Mister Eric Kyle Curtiss? I wanted to see my brother so mad at what you did to me, that he nearly punched my grandmother. Not that she didn’t deserve it.

I wanted my own grandmother to testify against me. I wanted my own grandmother to tell me I Was lying.

Dear mister Eric Kyle Curtiss

I probably wanted the shaking and trembling hands whenever someone touched me and I wanted to be afraid to hug my own father.

I wanted to never trust another person again and be stuck with the memory of you.

Dear Mister Eric Kyle Curtiss,

I bet wanted the burden of paying 40 dollars a month for pills that are keeping me sane.

I definitely wanted to be diagnosed with Severe PTSD at the age of 18. I wanted to have emotional breakdowns three days into my freshman year of college

Dear Eric Kyle Curtiss

I wanted you to do this to me to change my perspective of life forever.

But you know what Mister Eric Kyle Curtiss, You will not control me.

Mister Eric Kyle Curtiss, you have not ruined me. You will not keep me from dreaming and from running

And You will not keep me from falling in love with the girl of my dreams and marrying her one day.

Dear Mister Eric Kyle Curtiss, I will scream from the top of the roof tops your name and what you did to me in hopes that another woman will never have to go through what I did.

And I know this must all be hard to swallow for you because the justice system found you not guilty but you know what, I’m hard to swallow. I’m hard to swallow and hard to keep quiet.

I will not stand by, as this happens to others. I will not be silent anymore. I refuse to be scared of you.

I will remind you why they name storms after people.

I will turn this into an experience I can come out of.

I will turn this into strength because I’m the hero in this story and I sure as hell don’t need saving.

Dear Mister Eric Kyle Curtiss

You’re pathetic. And you must want to be viewed as so. You want to be viewed as a coward because that’s all you are. A Liar and a coward.

Sincearly,

Your cousin, your victim,

Maddie Crisman.