Have you ever had a man come up to you while you are holding open a door and instead of walking through, he insists on you walking in before him? I have and I want to know why. My problem with this is that it doesn’t just happen every once in a while; it’s 9 times out of 10 that a man will not let me hold the door for him. This leads me to believe that it’s not you guys wanting to be polite and hold the door, but that it’s you not wanting me to hold the door. I want to say that this is in no way a personal attack on all men or any one man and it is true that not all men do this. I just want to air my grievances with the men that do.

Now, I can only assume that this is because you men are very valiant and don’t want a fragile woman like me to hurt myself holding open the big, heavy door. I bet in your minds, you’re doing me a favor. But here’s the thing; I am capable of holding the door. I hold doors pretty often, in fact, being the tallest of my friends, my legs are longer and I reach doors first. So, I do not need you to ignore my civility and personal space by walking up to me, putting your hand on the door above my head, and asserting that you’ve “got it”, because I’ve got it too.

This would be an entirely different situation if you and I were to arrive at the door at the same time. You could grab the door and let me walk through first, which I would be grateful for, but if I’m already holding the door for my friends and I offer to let you go, just go. You don’t even have to acknowledge me, smile, make eye contact, say thanks, or any combination thereof – though it’d be nice. You simply have to walk through the door.

If you think about it, the entire purpose of holding a door for others is to save people from having to take the extra time to reopen the door right after it is closed. By having your macho-manliness get in the way of allowing a woman to hold the door for you, you waste more time than just walking through, which is an inconvenience for the both of us.

So, here’s the deal, men: if you see me, or any other woman, holding the door and we offer to let you through first, swallow your pride and do it. I promise that our delicate women sensibilities will not be harmed by it. We may be damsels, but we’re not in distress when holding a door. Save your gallant energy for when we do actually need your help, like to kill snakes or open pickle jars.

Sincerely,

A woman who is sick of the awkward stare-down that happens every time you refuse to let me hold the door.